Happiness
The Journey to Happiness, One Step at a Time
The topic of happiness is filled with illusions. Let's clarify them.
Updated July 7, 2024 Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
Key points
- In our pursuit of happiness, we often fall into the trap of thinking it lies somewhere in the future.
- Happiness is not a destination but a state of mind that we can cultivate.
- You can practice mindfulness, cultivate gratitude, and set realistic expectations.
Today, I wish to share a story about one of my clients, "Sarah," and her journey to finding happiness in the present moment. She has kindly permitted me to share her experiences, and I believe the lessons we can learn from them will resonate with many of you.
Sarah, a successful entrepreneur in her 30s, came to me feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure to achieve more. As a result, she found herself always looking ahead and never truly enjoying the present. Happiness seemed out of reach, waiting for her at the next milestone.
When we began working together, I aimed to help Sarah shift her perspective and rediscover the joy in her everyday life. The following insights and practical steps not only transformed her journey but can also impact your own pursuit of happiness.
The Happiness Illusion
In our pursuit of happiness, we often fall into the trap of thinking it lies somewhere in the future. We tell ourselves, "I'll be happy when I achieve this goal," or "I'll be happy when I have that thing." This mindset creates a never-ending cycle of chasing happiness without ever truly finding it.
Happiness is not a destination but a state of mind that we can cultivate by embracing the present moment and finding joy in the journey itself. When we do this, we break free from the illusion of happiness being tied to future achievements and realize that it has been within our reach all along.
Sarah was so future-oriented, focusing on things she needed to achieve to be happy, that she missed numerous opportunities for happiness in the moment.
Steps to Embrace the Present
Here are three practical steps that Sarah took as part of our work together—and you can, too—to shift your focus toward the present moment and cultivate happiness in your daily life:
- Practice mindfulness. Whether through meditation, deep breathing, or mindful walks in nature, make a conscious effort to stay in the moment with greater awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. This helps you to stay grounded in the present and appreciate the beauty of life as it unfolds.
- Cultivate gratitude. Make it a habit to reflect on the positives in your life, no matter how small. Keep a gratitude journal or express and share thoughts with a friend or family member. Focusing on what you're grateful for helps you nurture a positive mindset and find happiness in the everyday.
- Set realistic expectations. Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself to achieve specific goals or milestones. Instead, break your goals into smaller, achievable steps and celebrate your progress along the way. This will help you remain motivated and enjoy the process rather than fixating on an elusive end result.
As Sarah implemented these steps, she noticed a shift in her outlook. She started finding happiness in simple moments, like spending time with her family or savoring a quiet morning coffee. This newfound appreciation for the present allowed her to release herself from the constant need to chase happiness in the future and to prove herself through those future achievements.
I hope you find these insights and practical steps helpful in your own journey toward happiness. Remember, it's not a race but a beautiful, ever-evolving journey we can embrace one step at a time.
Wishing you a wonderful week abundant with love, joy, and presence,
Itai
Dr. Itai Ivtzan is a positive psychologist, Professor at Naropa University, and the director of the School of Positive Transformation.
Check out Itai Ivtzan's Single Session Therapy on Psychology Today: bit.ly/Psych-Today123
You can find his courses on his school’s website: www.SchoolofPositiveTransformation.com/
His most popular courses are the online Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher Training, which offers an in-depth training to become a formal teacher of meditation, and the Positive Psychology Practitioner Certificate, which certifies you as a positive psychology practitioner.