Love, Lies and Conflict

Rationalization

What Are the Most Common Relationship Excuses?

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on December 1, 2023

Does it seem like excuses keep popping up in your relationship? Research shows just how easily these can be found.

Does it seem like excuses keep popping up in your relationship? Research shows just how easily these can be found.

Emotions

Emotions Actually Change How You See Your Partner

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on August 28, 2023

Do you find yourself getting annoyed with your partner? It is worth checking your own filters to see what might be affecting your perceptions.

Do you find yourself getting annoyed with your partner? It is worth checking your own filters to see what might be affecting your perceptions.

Relationships

Being Honest in Your Relationship Is Not What You Think

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on July 3, 2023

In relationships, finding the truth is a quest that involves many areas beyond just the literal meaning of words.

In relationships, finding the truth is a quest that involves many areas beyond just the literal meaning of words.

Anger

Keys to Keeping Your Cool in Relationships

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on March 24, 2023

Does anger show up and cause damage and resentment in your relationships? There are ways to reduce its impact.

Does anger show up and cause damage and resentment in your relationships? There are ways to reduce its impact.

Anger

The Blindness of Blame: How Anger Stops Awareness and Growth

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on February 28, 2023

Do you sometimes lose your cool and regret it later? Anger can change one's perception, leading to bias and damage.

Do you sometimes lose your cool and regret it later? Anger can change one's perception, leading to bias and damage.

Relationships

Your Fight-or-Flight Reflex in Your Relationship

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on January 19, 2023

Do you struggle with overreactions in relationships? Your fight, flight, or freeze impulses may be to blame.

Do you struggle with overreactions in relationships? Your fight, flight, or freeze impulses may be to blame.

Cognition

Is Your Fight or Flight Reflex Harming Your Relationship?

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on December 28, 2022

Do you ever wonder why you had a strong reaction to your partner? It may be your fight, flight, or freeze reflexes kicking in.

Do you ever wonder why you had a strong reaction to your partner? It may be your fight, flight, or freeze reflexes kicking in.

Marriage

Taking Responsibility Is Hard, but Essential for Couples

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on November 30, 2022

Do you feel stuck in your relationship? For growth and connection to happen, partners need to take responsibility and lower defenses.

Do you feel stuck in your relationship? For growth and connection to happen, partners need to take responsibility and lower defenses.

Deception

Do White Lies Help or Hurt Your Relationship?

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on October 27, 2022

White lies are easy, and many people assume they are harmless or even helpful. However, research suggests that they cause unexpected distance.

White lies are easy, and many people assume they are harmless or even helpful. However, research suggests that they cause unexpected distance.

Relationships

Flirting, Failing, and Navigating Relationship Signals

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on September 30, 2022

Love is complicated, but fortunately most people can understand the thousands of subtle signals that indicate the heat level of a relationship.

Love is complicated, but fortunately most people can understand the thousands of subtle signals that indicate the heat level of a relationship.

Relationships

Why Being Brutally Honest Is So Needlessly Brutal

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on August 31, 2022

The next time you find yourself heating up with righteous indignation and ready to tell someone off, hit the pause button.

The next time you find yourself heating up with righteous indignation and ready to tell someone off, hit the pause button.

Relationships

How to Know When You Need to Speak Up in a Relationship

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on July 25, 2022

When do you address the concerns in your relationships, and when do you let them go? Considering several factors will help you decide.

When do you address the concerns in your relationships, and when do you let them go? Considering several factors will help you decide.

Relationships

For Stronger Relationships, Stop the Excuses

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on June 30, 2022

Do excuses appear in your relationships? These may feel good at the moment but often contribute to fights and distance.

Do excuses appear in your relationships? These may feel good at the moment but often contribute to fights and distance.

Relationships

When to Seek Help: 6 Signs a Relationship Is Unhealthy

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on June 1, 2022

Wondering if your relationship is needing professional intervention? Here are six research-backed signs that things are going downhill.

Wondering if your relationship is needing professional intervention? Here are six research-backed signs that things are going downhill.

Punishment

A Tale of Revenge: How Misguided Justice Can Cause Harm

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on April 28, 2022

Our need for justice makes sense when punishing a villain, but it can lead to exaggerated indignation and anger in a relationship.

Our need for justice makes sense when punishing a villain, but it can lead to exaggerated indignation and anger in a relationship.

Deception

“It’s for Your Own Good": How People Justify Hurting Others

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on March 26, 2022

How can we hurt each other and feel good about it? One way is to create excuses that sound like we are doing the right thing.

How can we hurt each other and feel good about it? One way is to create excuses that sound like we are doing the right thing.

Relationships

Why Romantic Partners Need to Play Fair

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on February 26, 2022

Are you trying to improve satisfaction in your intimate relationship? Focusing on fairness may help.

Are you trying to improve satisfaction in your intimate relationship? Focusing on fairness may help.

Relationships

Why We Say We're Fine When We Aren't

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on January 21, 2022

Do you feel like you must have a happy face, even when you aren’t feeling it? Several cultural factors are working on you.

Do you feel like you must have a happy face, even when you aren’t feeling it? Several cultural factors are working on you.

Trust

The One Crucial Ingredient of Any Happy Relationship

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on December 15, 2021

Of the many things that help build a successful relationship, establishing trust may be the most important.

Of the many things that help build a successful relationship, establishing trust may be the most important.

Relationships

Therapists Can Be Warm, Helpful and Wise, but Not Neutral

Jason Whiting Ph.D. on November 30, 2021

Some therapists aspire to be detached and neutral. This fails to capture the rich, moral conversations that are a part of every therapeutic relationship and every session.

Some therapists aspire to be detached and neutral. This fails to capture the rich, moral conversations that are a part of every therapeutic relationship and every session.