How Can You Spot a Potential Cheat?

Jealous man looking on

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Trying to improve your appearance, buying your partner a gift, or being aggressive to another person showing an interest in your partner are referred to as mate retention strategies. These strategies can be classified as either benefit-provisioning, such as complimenting a partner on their appearance, or cost-inflicting, such as threatening to leave your partner if they behave in a way you may disapprove (Miner, Starratt and Shackleford, 2009).

There is some evidence to suggest that a person’s mate retention behaviour may be linked to what are known as the Dark Triad traits of psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism. In other words, possessing these traits may determine the use of mate retention tactics. However, mate retention tactics may also be determined by whether one’s partner displays Dark Triad traits, and with good reason. We know that individuals high on Dark Triad traits tend to be more likely targets for mate poaching, which is explained by the fact that people scoring high on these traits generally display more promiscuous behaviour. Furthermore, Dark Triad traits are related to a greater tendency to cheat in relationships, and, therefore, if you have a partner who scores high on these traits, you would be advised to be more vigilant and possibly employ more mate retention strategies.

The relationship between the Dark Triad and mate retention behaviour was further investigated by researchers Igor Kardum, Jasna Hudek-Knezevic, and Nermina Mehic from The University of Rijeka, in Croatia (Kardum, Hudek-Knezevic, & Mehic, 2019).

The researchers recruited 100 couples who had been in a relationship for at least 6 months. Separately, each member of the couple completed measurements of Dark Triad traits and mate retention behaviour.

• Psychopathy was tested by measuring agreement with items such as “I almost never feel guilty over something I’ve done.”
• Narcissism was measured by asking respondents to choose between items such as “I insist upon getting the respect that is due to me” or “I usually get the respect that I deserve.”
• Machiavellianism was tested by measuring agreement with items such “The best way to handle people is to tell them what they want to hear.”

Mate retention behaviour was measured with the Mate Retention Inventory (Buss, 1988) consisting of 104 descriptions of behaviours that may be used to retain a romantic partner. They were broadly classified into cost-inflicting (for example, direct guarding and threat to terminate the relationship if the partner cheated) and benefit provisioning (for example, displaying affection) mate retention strategies.

Dark Triad traits and mate retention behaviour

The researchers found that, in men, it was psychopathy and Machiavellianism that predicted cost-inflicting mate retention behaviour of participants on their partners, whereas it was narcissism in men and psychopathy in women that predicted benefit provisioning mate retention behaviour of participants on their partners.

The findings here are similar to previous research that has found psychopathy to best predict cost-inducing mate retention behaviour and narcissism to have some relationship to benefit provisioning mate retention behaviour (Jones and de Roos, 2017).

Partner Dark Triad traits and mate retention

In terms of the effect of partner traits on mate retention behaviour, the researchers found that women whose male partners scored high on psychopathy engaged in more cost-inflicting and benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviour. Indeed, such behaviour is adaptive, as there is evidence to suggest that men who score highly on Dark Triad traits, especially psychopathy, are more prone to cheat.

When their male partners were high on narcissism and Machiavellianism, women tended to engage in more cost-inflicting mate retention behaviour. Men who score higher on narcissism generally have a preference for short-term relationships, which suggests that they are more likely to move on from relationship to relationship more quickly.

It was also found that men whose female partners scored high on psychopathy engaged more in cost-inflicting mate retention behaviour—probably with good reason, as psychopathy in women is generally related to a greater likelihood of cheating.

There was little effect on mate retention behaviour in men whose female partners score high on Machiavellianism. Perhaps Machiavellian women are better than most at concealing their advances toward others. Therefore, their partners remain unaware of their behaviour and ultimately employ fewer mate retention strategies.

Dark Triad Essential Reads

How to Tell if a Partner Is Hiding a Dark Side

The Partners Narcissists and Psychopaths Are Most Likely to Pursue

Overall, the study illustrates that it is not just Dark Triad traits that predict mate retention strategies but also the presence of Dark Triad traits in one’s partner. In other words, mate retention behaviour is determined by the presence of Dark Triad traits in each relationship partner.