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Let's Start a Community of Single People

A place for singles and the people who study or work with them

All sorts of people get in touch with me, hoping that I can put them in touch with other single people who want to live their single lives fully (and not just escape them). Others want me to point them to helpful resources. A few of the many examples are listed below in the next section, "What Are People Looking For?"

Every time I get one of those requests, I try to generate names or resources offhand. That's not very efficient. Plus, I only know a very tiny fraction of the single people (or scholars of single people or professionals who work with single people) who might be interested in helping out or who might also want to be in touch with other single people (for friendship, discussion, workshops, or just about anything else except dating).

So, for anyone who is interested, I would like to start a Community of Single People. I want to know who you are so I can connect you with interested parties (as described below). Once the Community is launched, however, members who want to do more with the community can also use it in other ways (for example, to discuss on Facebook anything that interests them).

What Are People Looking For?

Here is just a sampling of the kinds of inquiries I get.

From other single people (and singles activisits):

  • Whether there are any virtual communities of single people who like their single lives
  • Whether there are single people in particular cities or towns who would be interested in meeting in person (again, the interest is not in dating, it is in discussions about living single life fully)
  • Whether there are any courses or workshops on single life (living it fully, not escaping it)
  • Whether there are people working for singles' rights

From professionals who work with single people (for example, in real estate, teaching, or the helping professions, among many others) who have never once been offered a class or a workshop or even one stereotype-busting lecture about single life:

  • Where they can find some resources
  • How they can think about single life in more enlightened ways

From the media:

  • Whether there are single people willing to be interviewed for stories
  • Whether there are scholars with expertise on single life (not dating)
  • Whether there are singles advocates and activists willing to be interviewed

Who, Specifically, Is This Community for?

The organizing principle is that this is a community of single people who want to live their single lives fully. It has nothing to do with dating or escaping single life. Beyond that, the reach is broad.

People who are welcome to join include:

  • People who are any kind of not-married: divorced or separated or widowed or always-single
  • Single parents and single people who are not parents
  • Women and men
  • Adults of all ages
  • All sexual orientations and gender identities
  • All ethnicities, races, and social classes
  • All countries – let's make this truly international
  • Professionals who work with single people, regardless of their own marital or relationship status
  • Scholars who study single life, regardless of their own marital or relationship status
  • People in the media, regardless of their own marital or relationship status, who are interested in writing about single people and single life

(Am I forgetting anyone?)

What Should You Do If You Are Interested?

I have created a Facebook group, Community of Single People. For now, it is a closed group, so you need to ask to join. (I want to be sure it is not mistaken for a dating site.) Go to the page and click "Join Group." (Update: I think you already need to have a Facebook profile to be added to the group. One person I already approved is not appearing in the list of members, and my guess is that the person is not yet on Facebook.)

If you want to receive announcements or updates but you are not on Facebook or you do not want to join this particular Facebook group, you can still sign up for the Community of Single People using this sign-up form. I promise to send out announcements to that list only sparingly. (If members want to have discussions, they can do that at the Facebook page.)

It is also fine if you want to sign up for both the Facebook page and the mailing list.

What Would It Mean to Be Part of This Community?

When I get a relevant inquiry, I will post the question on the Community of Single People Facebook page and send it out to the mailing list.

Beyond that, it is up to the members. If you want to have discussions on Facebook, or use the Facebook page to let others know about relevant courses or workshops or any other resources, feel free.

Sign-Up Links Are Here

So again, if you are interested, please sign up for the Facebook group and/or the mailing list. (I think you need to be on Facebook to be able to join the group. That's my best guess as to why a few of the people I tried to approve for the group are not showing up as members.)

[Need help with group" image": I would like to find an image (available for reuse) that represents what the Community of Single People is all about. I want to use it as the key image at the top of the Facebook page, and elsewhere, too. I tried about a dozen possibilities at Facebook but they were all rejected – images need to be at least 400 pixels wide and 150 tall. For now, I'm using a Matisse as a placeholder. (That happened because I always liked that dancer painting but on second thought, I worried that the nudity of the dancers could send the wrong message, even though it is art. So I just chose another Matisse that fit Facebook's fussy standards.) All this is a very long way of saying that if you have any suggestions for an image for the group, please post the link in the comments section or send it to me at belladepaulo [at]]

[Note: I'm cross-posting this to reach the biggest possible audience. If you are on social media or have other ways of getting the word out, please do. I hope this group will eventually be far-reaching and truly international.]

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