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i started having sex at the age of 14.i got pregant the second time i had sex.i left the person when i was 16 ,because he was abusive and his mother told me not to stay with him because of that.i went on a promiscuos life until i met my husband. he was so nice i was afraid to loose him so i told him he was the second person i ever had sex with. we started having sex after 2-3 months cause he couldn't wait.(and again i was afraid to loose him. i started treating him like my father. "can i go here?",can i go there?",can i do this or that?, and so on. he started of treating me like a baby and i had liked it cause my father never shew me love. he started hitting me like if i'm his child,then his behaviour got worse over the years.he was abusive, unfaithful, unkind,disrespectful to both ne and my family,and he used to sleep out most of the times we were together.i am finish with him now(over a year)and am studying to be a nurse(first year student). i was wondering if i can hold out until i'm finsh to get a parthner? i want to stay alone for the while, but people are telling me that it can affect my studies.is this true?
Michelle Gielan
An important relationship in my life just ended... and I'll admit it, I didn't really see it coming. That event has sparked a lot of thinking about relationships in general, and why I value them as much as I do (I am happy I do!). Having healthy, productive relationships with my family and friends is the most important thing to me in life. What I have come to more fully understand recently are the reasons why positive connections with others matter so much to me.
Relationships teach us about ourselves. Sometimes, for good or bad, the person standing in front of us can be a mirror showing us who we really are. If we don't like something in them, there are chances we don't like it in ourselves. Friendships also give us a chance to watch ourselves in action. We can, on a moment-to-moment basis, pay attention to what we are thinking, feeling, or doing in response to what is happening externally. We can plug into our life story anytime, and learn from it.
Best of all, we get a chance everyday to practice acting from love. This goes beyond doing something nice for someone. Acting from love requires us to recognize the times when fear arises within us, and work to overcome it so we don't choose a course of action from a fearful place. That takes awareness, hard work, and courage, but in those moments, when we choose love, we grow as human beings.
What do you value most in your relationships with people in your life? What do you do to make these relationships the strongest they can be?
Michelle Gielan, a former CBS network news anchor, is pursuing a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
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