How to Stop Using Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide From Satisfying Ones
Mark B. Borg, Jr, Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, MD, & Daniel Berry, RN, MHA
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Mark B. Borg, Jr., Ph.D., Grant H. Brenner, and MD, Daniel Berry, RN, MHA are the authors of Relationship Sanity.
An irrelationship is a shared, co-created, psychological defense system; it is a defense against the fear and anxiety that come along with allowing another person to matter. Irrelationship is a way of protecting those within it from the messy business of really relating, because while intimate connections promise caring, compassion, and empathy, they also require emotional investment and risk. Irrelationship is not a syndrome, an illness, or a pathology. It is a way of being in relationship, a dynamic—something partners do together.