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Fantasies

Identifying Your Secret Desires

Using them to make plans for 2020.

Jessica Tam, Wikimedia, CC 2.0
Source: Jessica Tam, Wikimedia, CC 2.0

We may have desires that we won’t even let ourselves think about, let alone try to achieve. Does one of your unspoken desires appear on this list?

To be respected. Whether the respect is as an expert who is sought-after at work, for your integrity by the community, or respected overall by your romantic partner, even many quite worthy people wish they got more respect.

To fit in. Some people go through life feeling like an outsider and would welcome just feeling normal.

To be special. Many people feel ordinary and wish they were special in a way more substantive than tats, piercings, and purple hair.

To look different. Many people desire to be thinner, stronger, taller, shorter, sexier, less noticeable, or to have better hair (or just more hair).

To be healthy. Most people with a serious illness or who are in pain would love to be healthy and pain-free.

To be wealthy. Yes, so you can afford more, live more easily and carefree, or maybe so you can choose work without worrying whether you get paid.

To be wise. Intelligence is key to negotiating life and to doing well on most jobs.

To be charismatic. Many want to be that person whom everyone likes and tends to agree with, even if their ideas are no better than yours.

To not procrastinate. Some of my clients have to work hard to get even life’s basics done, let alone to achieve all they wish they could.

To crave. Many people walk the earth in neutral. They wish they had passion for a person, a career goal, or material possession.

To be craved. Some people wish they were enduringly craved by one or more romantic partners.

To perform. Some people long to do an artistic or athletic performance in front of an audience. Maybe the fantasy even includes a standing ovation.

To say what you really think. It seems that people are ever more reluctant to say what they think, especially about politics and about issues of race, gender, and immigration.

To be the boss. Some people would love more control over their work-life and their workplace.

To have a different lifestyle. Some people fantasize about living in the country, growing apples, and raising children and chickens. Others fantasize about living in a big-city penthouse. Others dream of the white-picket-fence suburban life. Still others romanticize the artist’s life in Greenwich Village, Provincetown, or Laguna Beach.

To be free of substance abuse’s shackles. Some people are sick and tired of being sick and tired, but can’t seem to make themselves stop.

To be left alone. Because they’re introverts or because they’ve too often had bad experiences with people, some wish they could spend more time by themselves.

To be content. The desire isn't to be giggly all the time but to go through life content.

The takeaway

The items on that list may or may not evoke realistic goals for you, but does reviewing them awaken a goal to try for in 2020?

I read this on YouTube.

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