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Remember the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine was outraged when she discovered that Dr. Tim Whatley had regifted to Jerry the label maker she had given him? While the show hilariously depicted the social taboo of passing on gifts, current research reveals that Elaine's reaction doesn't quite square with science.
New research has found that the practice of regifting may not be as offensive as you think: In an article to be published in a forthcoming issue of Psychological Science, researchers from the Stanford Graduate School of Business, the Harvard Business School, and the London Business School investigated regifting from the perspective of both the initial giver and the receiver. In a series of studies, which involved hypothetical scenarios and actual gift exchanges between friends, the authors explored whether the practice is as offensive to givers as receivers assume.
The results revealed that givers and receivers see the act of regifting very differently. Repeatedly, the recipients of gifts who were then instructed to imagine regifting them believed that the original givers would be more offended by this than the givers truly were. In fact, regifters believed that rewrapping a gift and passing it on to someone else was just as offensive as throwing it in the trash.
But really, what's so bad about passing on an undesired item to someone who would enjoy it more? The authors say the gulf in perception between givers and receivers comes down to entitlement: Much like handing over a title, givers believe that receivers are welcome to do whatever they like with their gifts once they are delivered. Since the givers' obligations, as it were, are over, so too may be their investment in how receivers choose to use their gifts. By contrast, receivers believe that the givers' intentions should be honored well after a gift has been given. Because of these asymmetric expectations, receivers may overestimate givers' negative reactions to regifting.
Given how challenging it can be to find the perfect gift, the authors contend that regifting is a sensible option. Yet the taboo surrounding it looms large. How can regifters feel more comfortable recycling unwanted items? On a practical level, the authors suggest that givers may want to overtly encourage recipients to do with their gifts as they wish. Another way to destigmatize regifting is to normalize it. The authors found that raising the awareness of National Regifting Day both increased receivers' entitlement to regift and decreased their inclination to feel that they were being offensive to givers by doing so.
So don't despair if you are in receipt of a gift that is less than satisfying. There's plenty of gift exchanging to be done before the next National Regifting Day—December 20, 2015. Just in time for next Christmas.
Connect with Vinita Mehta on the web at drvinitamehta.com and on twitter and Pinterest!
Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in Washington, DC, and an expert on relationships, managing anxiety and stress, and building health and resilience. Mehta provides speaking engagements for your organization and psychotherapy for adults. She has successfully worked with individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, and life transitions, with a growing specialization in recovery from trauma and abuse. She is also the author of the forthcoming book Paleo Love: How Our Stone Age Bodies Complicate Modern Relationships.
You can find Dr. Mehta's other Psychology Today posts here.
Reference
Adams, G.S., Flynn, F.J., & Norton, M.I. (2012). The gifts we keep on giving: Documenting and destigmatizing the regifting taboo. In press, Psychological Science.
