What Is Insight, and How Does It Help Us Grow?

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Terrance came to therapy wanting to be more confident in his relationships and at work. He believed that if he could understand the root of the problem, it would release him from his insecurity, like smoke drifting away and revealing a bright path forward.

Terrance is not alone. Most clients believe that people change in psychotherapy through insight—a new understanding of oneself. But does insight shift something fundamental within ourselves? Does it help us change our patterns and grow in new ways? The answer is: it depends.

Research suggests that insight is one of the "processes of change" in psychotherapy. The key is understanding what an insight really is, what makes it helpful, and how to translate this new learning into genuine and sustained growth.

What Is “Insight”?

“Insight” in psychotherapy is defined many ways, but most experts agree it is a new way of understanding your experience which resonates emotionally. It is not a thought, but a discovery that reverberates in your bones. When a dawning insight is then put into words, it can revise our self-narratives (beliefs).

It’s important to recognize that insight is not merely an intellectual exercise. If you are simply using your mind to analyze yourself or rework a familiar story, this may be interesting, but it won’t be transformative.

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Insight requires experiential learning. Some insights arise from the “bottom up”—from an experience first, which is then put into words (understood in the mind). These insights can emerge out of a surprising experience, doing something new, or turning inwards and directly tracking our thoughts, feelings, reactions, or behavior in the moment. For example, I pointed out to Terrance that when I commented on a strength of his, he quickly deflected the topic. I then asked him to stay with the experience and observe what unfolds. He felt himself squirm! Terrance realized that positive feedback feels threatening to him.

Insights can also come from the “top-down”— starting with a “why” question or linking present to past, and then sensing whether it lands emotionally in the body. For example, I asked Terrance how his parents typically responded to his achievements growing up. He recalled how they dismissed his good grades and athletic victories, warning him not to get lazy—he needed to try harder. Conjuring the memory elicited anxiety: He could feel viscerally the historic roots of his “not good enough” belief.

How Does Insight Facilitate Change?

True insights that are new, experiential, and resonate emotionally change our internal landscape in important ways and motivate new behaviors.

Internal Changes With Insight

Insight, as a process of discovery, jostles old narratives and loosens up our thinking. As such, it tends to increase cognitive flexibility. At the core of psychological problems is rigidity: fixed narratives and behavioral patterns that keep us on the hamster wheel. Insight can help us step back, broaden our perspective, become more aware of our thoughts as mental constructions. Terrance’s insight helped him see that while his “not good enough” belief developed for a reason, it is not the “truth.”

Insights reorganize our experience in a way that increases a sense of meaning and self-efficacy. We have a deep need to map our emotional world, both to understand and feel a sense of agency and empowerment. When painful feelings haven’t been named, complex experiences haven’t been integrated, or we are sitting with unresolved conflicts or behaviors that run counter to our values... it creates inner tension. If we can lean into that tension, new insights can revise our self-narratives in a way that resolves the impasse and suggests a new way forward. This is why insights typically settle us (“ahhhh”) and generate hope (“yesss!”).

Insights can also help normalize our experience, leading to greater self-compassion and reduced self-blame and shame. When Terrance dropped into his memory of how his parents dismissed his accomplishments, it helped soften his internal critic. When my PTSD clients learn that their anxiety is triggered by brain systems designed to protect them from potential threats, they come to see their anxiety not as a weakness, but rather part of an adaptive coping system honed by earlier traumatic experiences. These insights bring more self-acceptance and restore a connection to humanity.

Motivation for Behavior Change

Although we are not responsible for how others treat us, external factors, or the social contexts we inhabit, we often persist with protective behaviors that are no longer adaptive. These “safety behaviors” can play an important role in keeping us stuck. Terrance’s insight about how he fends off positive feedback helped him see how his own behavior keeps him closed off. This was a powerful motivator to change his behavior: If Terrance could start genuinely taking in how others appreciated him, it might start loosening his “not good enough” belief.

Insights can also reveal our values and point us in a new direction. One of my earliest insights was when I was 9 years old. I was playing a chase game in my yard with friends and directing everyone to follow the rules. Suddenly several friends left. Confused and distressed, I told my mom what had happened. She said gently: “You can sometimes be a bit bossy, and that isn’t fun for others.” This was a startling perspective shift for me, and I felt it first as a flash of (healthy) shame. The experience slowly consolidated into the first insight: “If I insist on doing things my way, I will push others away.” A second revelation followed: “My relationships matter more to me than having control.” This motivated me to try bossing less, and joining more!

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When insight is translated into new behaviors, profound and sustained transformation is possible. Terrance started to learn how to be vulnerable and take in appreciation from others—first from me, then with his friends and coworkers. Removing this stop sign deepened how Terrance engaged others, and we watched how his sense of belonging, worth and confidence started to bloom.

Harness the Power of Insight

We are not passive recipients of insight: we can cultivate an approach that facilitates self-understanding in a way that transforms our inner landscape and how we show up in the world.

Facilitate Insights by Exploring Uncharted Terrain

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Self-discovery requires leaving the “safe ground” of what is familiar, and stepping into the unknown. This journey can unfold through introspective practices like journaling or meditating, having courageous conversations, or by embracing new experiences and risks in the world. As you navigate, observe your experience in real time, bringing an attitude of openness, curiosity, and receptivity. Gently lean into the uncertainty, encouraging yourself to explore both the painful corners and deep longings of your heart. Treading this uncharted territory may (should!) feel vulnerable, yet it can also be profound and exhilarating. This is the sacred ground of our deepest values where true growth takes root.

Use Insight to Construct Useful Narratives

Be thoughtful about how you integrate a new discovery into your self-narratives (beliefs). It’s easy to slip back into familiar and protective stories. As you put an experience into words, foster narratives that clarify your values, deepen self-compassion, help you own your part, and inspire behavior change. Ask yourself: does my new narrative help me bravely extend myself and forge more meaning and connection? Or does it cause me to blame, constrict, avoid, or become more rigid? Helpful narratives based on insight should empower and reveal desired horizons, not reinforce unhelpful stories.

Express Your Insight in New Behavior

People often stop with the “aha!” (new understanding) and fail to take further action. Instead, challenge yourself: What new behaviors does this insight inspire? For instance, Terrance practiced self-compassion and embraced positive feedback; I learned to ask my friends how they wanted to play. Behavior change can be challenging, but this is how we ensure the positive feedback loops of sustained growth. By engaging differently, we create new experiences and insights that reshape our narratives, fueling further transformation. This is how new meaning is brought fully to life.