Why relaxing is so much work.
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Finding a Path Through Loss
Kenneth J. Doka Ph.D.
Someone may wonder why they're not experiencing sadness after a loss. But grief is far more than just sadness, and may manifest in countless different ways.
The push to see funerals only as "celebrations of life" can disenfranchise grief.
Grief can devastate you unexpectedly. But you retain the choice to live a renewed life over time.
Even in the midst of a pandemic, we can find ways to honor our loved one, our loss, and our grief.
Journeying with grief does not mean we have to live a life of unremitting pain.
We need to prepare for the next pandemic—that of complicated grief—that will affect medical and mental health staff as well as survivors.
At a time when deaths are occurring at rapid rates, there may be many factors isolating the bereaved—and thereby complicating grief.
Is family conflict inevitable after a parent's death? How can you cope with the stress and loss of a sense of family?
Are there feelings that you encounter as you deal with loss that seem to be "unmentionable"?
Grief can seriously compromise our heath—but it does not have to do so. There is much you can do, even in the midst of grief, to take care of yourself.
If you are experiencing loneliness as you grieve, there are things you can do to help yourself.
Why do we feel so alone in grief? Are we sending the wrong message to others?
We never lose the connection with those who we love. They have left legacies and memories. Yet it is important that these continuing bonds not become chains.
Some losses simply are not recognized by others. How can we enfranchise "disenfranchised grief"?
When we grieve, we may dread the thought of the holidays. But others may find it a welcome diversion.
Children can do more than attend funerals—here's how families can offer them opportunities for involvement.
At what age should a child be permitted to attend a funeral? The real key is to empower children to make their own choice.
Struggling with your beliefs after loss? Find your sources of spiritual strength.
Even if we seem stuck in grief, there are ways to continue our journey with loss.
We can learn a great deal from those who seem to grow despite a significant losss
Do parents soon divorce after a child dies? What effects does the death of a child have on family systems? How can families cope with such a traumatic loss?
While we often realize that the winter holidays such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Hanukkah can trigger grief, but the many holidays of Spring can take mourners by surprise.
Guilt can take many forms in grief. Yet, whatever form it takes can complicate grief.
The DSM-5 now recognizes that grief can be complicated. Yet more changes are likely in the future
Can we celebrate the holidays when we are in the midst of grief? The key is suggested by a current theory of the grieving process.
Losing a child is tough at any age—but it can be especially hard when the child is an adult.
Can we do too well after a loss? We need to acknowledge resilient grievers.
Identity is not fixed at death—some times new information or values can change the way an individual is perceived even long after their death. This can deeply affect grief.
Do men and women grieve differently? Some do, some do not.
We have no choice about grief but we do have choices in grief—to grow up or to grow down.
Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology and counseling at the College of New Rochelle, a senior consultant to the Hospice Foundation of America, and the author of Grief is a Journey.