Borderline Personality Disorder
Revealing Your History to a New Therapist
Personal Perspective: Why I am open about my history of BPD.
Posted December 18, 2023 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Stigma remains alive and well when it comes to borderline personality disorder, even within the healthcare community:
“A study assessing mental health staff attitudes towards consumers with BPD found that over 80% of staff viewed this population as difficult to work with, and indeed, more difficult to treat than consumers with other mental illnesses.”
In a recent post I described feeling as though I was experiencing high-functioning depression and feeling overwhelmed. I contacted a new provider and we set up a phone consultation. I described my current situation, and she was empathetic. She asked me if I’d had therapy before, and I believe in being transparent, so I told her about my history of anorexia and BPD, but I assured her they were both under control and those were not the reasons I was seeking treatment now. I emphasized that the reason I was seeking treatment was to avoid my depression becoming worse and to not feel so overwhelmed.
She told me she had no experience with eating disorders or DBT — and I repeated that my eating disorder and BPD were in remission. We got into a discussion about my inability to set clear boundaries with some people in my life. She said she thought what I needed was a refresher of my DBT skills. She wasn’t going to work with me.
After she hung up, it took a couple of minutes to sink in: She wasn’t going to work with me. And then the possibilities of why began to wash over me. She seemed supportive until I mentioned my BPD history — which I don’t regret. I want potential providers to have an idea of my history before they start working with me, so I don’t get “accused” of hiding anything. Do clinicians believe that a client can truly recover from BPD?
One study states that “research during the past 2 decades has clearly demonstrated that BPD has a positive trajectory over time. Many of the specialized psychotherapies help patients with BPD, but long-term functional recovery is difficult.”
So the answer to the question of whether a client can truly recover from BPD may be: to a point, but perhaps not fully. I clearly recall telling her that I was currently working three jobs, one of them as a full-time social worker. With me, it’s not about an ability to function; it’s more like: No wonder I’m feeling overwhelmed.
I will never know for sure why the therapist declined to work with me, and I need to accept that. I may have my suspicions based on a 15-minute conversation and her attitude shift, but perhaps that was exaggerated in my mind because of the rejection. I consider myself fortunate that this has never really happened to me before. Honestly, I don’t know if I will continue searching.