There are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. But that may short-change the future—which starts by our envisioning something better.
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Tools for running your life and relationships
Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W.
Often your head is like a runaway horse where you're barely holding on and have no idea where you'll wind up. Time to take control with these four common sources and solutions.
If you've been sitting on the fence in your relationship, to go or leave, it may be time to stop treading water and move forward. It's time to pick a path.
None of us are immune to feelings of rejection but some of us are particularly sensitive to it. Tips on what to do to cope.
Shifting from lovers to friends is possible but often difficult. The keys are being aware of the drivers, being honest, and mapping out clear rules of engagement.
The act of forgiving is often difficult because of lingering past wounds. But forgiveness is not about feeling better but clearing the obstacles that get in the way.
Play is the child's work, and unlike most play for adults, a child's play is often therapeutic. By tweaking how you play with your child, you can maximize the emotional benefits.
It's all too easy to get derailed, to run out of gas. Here are five common motivation killers to be aware of.
Criticism is a combination of control and judgment. Even "constructive" criticism in intimate relationships can be destructive. How to push back, how to change your own behavior
All of us are driven in some way, but not all drivers are equally good for us. Some derail us or keep us from reaching our potential. Is it time to change what drives you?
We all have rules that we inherited from others. Rather than blindly following someone else's rules, it may be time to create your values.
Like the weather, the emotional climate of close relationships can quickly change, but you don't need to just endure it. Try on being your own weather-maker.
Resentment is about old wounds that never heal. Often the cure is actively seeking closure, but other times it's about taking responsibility for your own choices.
Attention deficit disorder in adults is different than that in children and teens.
We all can lose touch with our lives because our old ways no longer work.
Not trusting others is an understandable outcome of a lot of traumatic experiences. The common causes and how to learn to lean into relationships.
Those with explosive tempers are driven by several underlying problems. Some of the common drivers, how to manage the situation and take action to prevent further explosions.
Conversations all too easily can turn into heated arguments. Here's how to cool them down.
For many folks, going too far from home or being away too long can create anxiety. Here are some of the common sources of and how to handle your anxiety so you can enjoy yourself.
It's common in relationships for one person to be more engaged than the other.
We always have an image of ourselves and goals that we seek to achieve. Sometimes it's valuable to take stock, and see if there is a gap between who we are and who we want to be.
It's all too easy to think about relationship problems in terms of what the other person is or is not doing. Try these 5 better ways of thinking about and solving relationship problems.
Many couples live parallel lives where they each are in their own worlds and there is little emotional intimacy. Here are the common causes and tips on how to reconnect.
You don't have to re-litigate the past to move forward.
Tortoise vs. hare couples: One doesn't do well thinking on his feet, the other is more spontaneous, creating clashing coping styles and spiraling arguments. How to break the cycle.
Viewing life as a physical entity can provide a new perspective on which direction it takes and how to cope with self-conflict.
The key to managing an argument is always about emotional regulation.
Being hypervigilant may have helped you cope with your family or your environment as a child, but it's hard to turn off as an adult. Here's how to change.
We all have had the experience of someone who lingers in our memory in a good way. Why that person? Why do they linger? Some of the common reasons.
Worrying that others are upset or critical, some people may react with feelings they had as a little kid. Knowing trigger patterns, staying present, and acting despite old feelings can help in vulnerable situations.
When you have an argument, it's natural to try and make up. But stopping there usually only perpetuates a cycle that never works. Here's how to do it differently.
Bob Taibbi, L.C.S.W., has 45 years of clinical experience. He is the author of 11 books and over 300 articles and provides training nationally and internationally.