Enlightened Living

Relationships

The Yoga of Relationship

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on September 5, 2017

Conscious relationship is not something we engage in by default. More often than not, we fall into—and accept—relationships of convenience.

Conscious relationship is not something we engage in by default. More often than not, we fall into—and accept—relationships of convenience.

Relationships

Transforming Toxic Relationships

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on April 1, 2017

Recognizing a toxic relationship can sometimes prove to be a bit elusive. That is in large measure because of what we bring to the table in terms of our own inner narrative.

Recognizing a toxic relationship can sometimes prove to be a bit elusive. That is in large measure because of what we bring to the table in terms of our own inner narrative.

Bias

What’s Really Behind the Curtain?

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on September 30, 2016

So, what happens when our social assumptions and expectations are misplaced? More to the point, what happens when we figure that out? We discover things aren't quite as they seem.

So, what happens when our social assumptions and expectations are misplaced? More to the point, what happens when we figure that out? We discover things aren't quite as they seem.

Emotional Intelligence

Leveling Up Your Emotional Intelligence

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on July 31, 2016

One of the hall marks of emotional intelligence is responding, rather than reacting. An even more subtle and nuanced aspect of emotional intelligence is reflecting.

One of the hall marks of emotional intelligence is responding, rather than reacting. An even more subtle and nuanced aspect of emotional intelligence is reflecting.

Spirituality

Empowering Your Willingness to Change

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on June 30, 2016

When talking about creating change, empowerment quite literally means doing something—specifically doing something differently.

When talking about creating change, empowerment quite literally means doing something—specifically doing something differently.

Relationships

How’s Your Self-Relationship?

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on April 27, 2016

We work hard at our relationships, and, in of service them, we often overlook, or even neglect, our most important one—our relationship to ourselves.

We work hard at our relationships, and, in of service them, we often overlook, or even neglect, our most important one—our relationship to ourselves.

Coaching

How Others Judge You

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on January 31, 2016

The need for acceptance is fairly high on our list of social priorities. What's more important is how others see us, or how they receive us, and what they do with that.

The need for acceptance is fairly high on our list of social priorities. What's more important is how others see us, or how they receive us, and what they do with that.

Self-Esteem

Personal Empowerment Is More Than a Feeling

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on December 7, 2015

Personal empowerment is not something we feel, it’s something we do. Our sense of empowerment is a reflection of increased personal value and self-worth.

Personal empowerment is not something we feel, it’s something we do. Our sense of empowerment is a reflection of increased personal value and self-worth.

Addiction

Emerging From the Veil of Addiction

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on October 30, 2015

When self-medication winds its way into compulsive dependence, we disappear behind a veil that leaves us in a sort of social and emotional suspended animation and, when we reemerge, we find we are right where we started.

When self-medication winds its way into compulsive dependence, we disappear behind a veil that leaves us in a sort of social and emotional suspended animation and, when we reemerge, we find we are right where we started.

Projection

Gas-lighting: Burning the Bridges of Truth

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on September 30, 2015

One of the more insidious forms of mental abuse has come to be referred to as gas-lighting. It refers to those who attempt to destroy another person’s sense of reality.

One of the more insidious forms of mental abuse has come to be referred to as gas-lighting. It refers to those who attempt to destroy another person’s sense of reality.

Relationships

Getting Into Your Growth Zone

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on August 31, 2015

If we look closely, what we find nested inside our comfort zone is a little rabbit hole—our complacency zone.

If we look closely, what we find nested inside our comfort zone is a little rabbit hole—our complacency zone.

Trauma

Exploring Post Traumatic Growth

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on June 30, 2015

In recent years, we’ve heard a lot about post-traumatic stress, or PTSD, and the negative effects it can have on a person’s overall health and wellness. PTSD is triggered in response to either experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, particularly if that event is life threatening

In recent years, we’ve heard a lot about post-traumatic stress, or PTSD, and the negative effects it can have on a person’s overall health and wellness. PTSD is triggered in response to either experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, particularly if that event is life threatening

Depression

Exploring Existential Depression

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on May 31, 2015

From a clinical perspective, depression is typically categorized as psychological, situational or some combination of the two. What we often overlook is the spiritual aspect of depression, which is not clinical, but existential. This subtle, cloying sense of incompleteness doesn’t so much paralyze us as haunt us, ringing hollow in our deepest heart.

From a clinical perspective, depression is typically categorized as psychological, situational or some combination of the two. What we often overlook is the spiritual aspect of depression, which is not clinical, but existential. This subtle, cloying sense of incompleteness doesn’t so much paralyze us as haunt us, ringing hollow in our deepest heart.

Therapy

Selling the Couch: The Business of Psychotherapy

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on April 9, 2015

The business side of private practice is something that eludes many, if not most, mental health professionals. As an outgrowth of his practice, Philadelphia-area psychologist Melvin Varghese has created an iTunes podcast called Selling the Couch, which is an on-going series of interviews with thought leaders in practice building, marketing and social media.

The business side of private practice is something that eludes many, if not most, mental health professionals. As an outgrowth of his practice, Philadelphia-area psychologist Melvin Varghese has created an iTunes podcast called Selling the Couch, which is an on-going series of interviews with thought leaders in practice building, marketing and social media.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness and Cultivating Creativity

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on March 6, 2015

Creativity relies, in part, on the brain being in a state of unfocused, resting wakefulness, similar to that found in certain types of mediation and mindfulness practice. So, when you're at rest, are you actually working?

Creativity relies, in part, on the brain being in a state of unfocused, resting wakefulness, similar to that found in certain types of mediation and mindfulness practice. So, when you're at rest, are you actually working?

Self-Control

Impulse Control Can Work Against You

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on February 19, 2015

When “I shouldn’t” becomes “I can’t,” we can end up creating obstacles for ourselves that interfere, not only with our self-development, but with our basic happiness.

When “I shouldn’t” becomes “I can’t,” we can end up creating obstacles for ourselves that interfere, not only with our self-development, but with our basic happiness.

One of our more enduring social fallacies is the idea that what others think of us actually matters, and has become one of our greatest obstacles to self-acceptance.

Gratitude

Gratitude, Listening and Leaning In

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on November 28, 2014

Central to every relationship is communication, and genuine communication relies on listening. Not just listening to the words that are spoken, but listening wholeheartedly to every aspect of the conversation taking place.

Central to every relationship is communication, and genuine communication relies on listening. Not just listening to the words that are spoken, but listening wholeheartedly to every aspect of the conversation taking place.

Grief

The Vanishing Point of Grief

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on October 17, 2014

Grieving is not a linear process. It’s more of a spiral that leads us from our immediate broken heart, to a place of release and then, just when we think we have found some peace, sweeps us even more deeply into the tender heart of sorrow. That tender heart is the ground for compassion and acceptance, lifting us out of our sadness and into grace.

Grieving is not a linear process. It’s more of a spiral that leads us from our immediate broken heart, to a place of release and then, just when we think we have found some peace, sweeps us even more deeply into the tender heart of sorrow. That tender heart is the ground for compassion and acceptance, lifting us out of our sadness and into grace.

It seems nowhere are we more apt to exercise our negativity bias than when it comes to ourselves. This tendency can amplify our insecurities, drive our arrogance and keep us tethered to a past rife with regret, both real and imagined. The heart of change here is the recognition that it is our thinking—and our thinking alone—that fuels the less-than mentality.