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10 Ways You Can Let Your Partner Know That You Care

When it comes to relationships, it's always more important to show than to tell.

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We can tell our loved ones that we care about them until we are blue in the face. The trick is to show it. Here are a few ways to get you started:

1. Kiss your partner in the morning when you wake up, to get the day going, and in the evening before you go to sleep. Embrace your partner whenever you see each other again after being apart. Kissing doesn’t always have to lead to sex, but it will always reinforce the feelings between you.

2. The more nonsexual touching you do, the nicer your relationship is going to be. (It will also improve your love life). Always remember to touch your partner in a way that feels good to your partner. It's not about you, but about the other person—and the more you give, the more you’ll receive.

3. Call your partner’s parents and tell them what a great job they did making your mate into the wonderful person he or she is today. This gesture can make a big difference in your family dynamic. And if the parents are no longer around, a thank-you note to your partner can have a similar effect.

4. Always compliment your partner, even if they're having a bad hair day. The more you can make your partner feel good, the better your partner will make you feel about yourself and your relationship.

5. If you’ve made a misstep, make an apology as soon as possible. The longer you let it go, the more painful it will become for your partner, and the harder it will be for you to find the right words. It has to come from your heart, pure and simple.

6. Show your partner that you trust him or her implicitly. If you can’t do this, you need to do some work to get that part of your connection working correctly. Love can’t flourish in a world of distrust.

7. Give your partner little gifts for no reason. Giving is a process, not an event, and is something that should happen on a daily basis. Yes, you want to celebrate big events, like birthdays and holidays, but the (inexpensive) giving that comes from the heart should be something that your partner receives regularly.

8. Do everything you can to speak in a warm, soft tone so that you're not mistaken for being upset. I know that sometimes if I drop something, and it startles me, I can yell real loud and the whole house erupts. But now I’ve learned to just say, “Oops!” So everyone knows I’m okay and that nothing bad happened.

9. Even if you’re not the regular cook in your home, make your partner something fabulous. The first time I did this, she thought I had ordered it from a restaurant (guess I’m a better cook than I thought).

10. When you have some free time together, spend as much of it as possible talking and interacting. If you're going to watch TV, at least sit on the same couch and hold hands or put your arms around one another. Closeness and communication are what makes a relationship work.

Caring and closeness make life worth living, and everyone can improve upon how they treat the people they love. Remember: Showing that you care is much more powerful than just saying it.

More from Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.
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