Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today


10 Ways to Increase Satisfaction in Your Relationship

How to help each other be your best, and much more.

Source: wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

Webster describes "satisfaction" as a fulfillment of a need or want and the quality or state of being. Understanding the need to feel satisfied in your relationship and contributing to that necessity will make both of you happier. If you currently feel like you just “can’t get no… satisfaction” in your relationship, these 10 tips should help:

1. Recognize each other for your commitment and caring.

The Number One motivator of people is recognition. Saying to your partner that you recognize their efforts to make your relationship great is the best gift you could give. Letting someone you love know that they have added to your life just by being present is one of the highest compliments you can give.

2. Share in creating a positive and emotionally comfortable living space.

Love cannot thrive in a negative environment. If you have developed a “downer” habit—in which where neither of you tries to lift the other out of the doldrums—it prevents both of you from finding emotional and even physical comfort. Cultivating a positive environment helps everyone in the household (even your cat) enjoy their lives more.

3. Make your relationship meaningful.

Work together to create something worthwhile. Everyone wants to be part of something greater than they are. Whether it’s contributing to your community, your faith, or the world, doing it as a couple will add depth and a sense of higher purpose to your relationship. This has the effect of making you feel that being with your partner has helped others.

4. Be responsible for your actions.

If you make a mistake, acknowledge it sooner than later and do it completely. This gets it out of the way of your relationship and allows easier healing because neither of you will have given the problem time to fester and grow. Problems left unattended create more problems.

5. Be accountable for your commitments.

When you make a promise, keep it. Not remaining faithful to your word erodes the trust necessary for a relationship to thrive. Once you break your word, your partner may have difficulty believing you will be there for them the next time.

6. Balance the work and the rewards.

Trade off household duties every now and then; it will help your partner feel they are in a balanced relationship. If you are in a relationship where one of you works and the other takes care of the home and children, make sure the stay-at-home partner has equal access to the income and benefits that are brought into the relationship.

7. Help each other grow and learn.

Encourage your partner to take care of himself or herself by getting educated and cultivating themselves. People who are not growing do not feel good about themselves—it will cause them to feel they are contributing less to the relationship.

8. Give your partner the opportunity to be their best.

When you know your partner takes pride in certain tasks or parts of themselves, support them in succeeding at those activities. The last thing you want to do is to make your partner feel that you don’t respect their efforts. Remember: Greatness in any one area fosters greatness in all areas.

9. Understand your partner's motivation and stresses.

If you know that your partner has difficulty talking with the accountant, dealing with the phone company, or other tasks, assume that responsibility. If they respond to certain kindnesses or affection, understand what they appreciate and offer those gifts. Trying to motivate someone in the same way you like to be motivated may not work for him or her.

10. Keep it interesting.

Do nice things for no reason—for example, I keep a few little gifts stashed so I can give them to my partner when she is having a difficult moment. Greet your partner with enthusiasm when you see them at the end of the day and keep some spontaneity in the relationship.

More from Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.
More from Psychology Today