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10 Ways to Create a More Loving Relationship

The right words or a timely touch can boost your connection.

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Expressing your love shouldn’t be reserved for special occasions like anniversaries, birthdays, or Valentine’s Day.

It should be a constant in your relationship—and that means doing more than just repeating those “three little words.”

Here are some tips to get you started:

  1. Use terms of endearment. Corny? Maybe. But coming up with and calling your partner by an affectionate nickname will elicit a positive response, no matter what you're about to talk about.
  2. Be supportive in a crisis. When the chips are down, having your partner’s back is one of the most loving things you can do. When we are going through a hard time, hearing words of encouragement from the one we love can make all the difference.
  3. Allow for private time. Giving your mate the space he or she needs to get ready for an evening out or to take care of some business is a loving gesture. Sometimes we all just need to be alone for a little while. It does not mean we are avoiding the relationship; we are just recharging.
  4. Share the housework. If you put everything is on the other person, it can make him or her feel like that’s all you want from the relationship. Sharing the tasks that make a life and home run smoothly will make both of you feel more comfortable.
  5. Play more. Get out on the weekends and do things that are new. When couples engage in novel, fun activities together, the research consistently shows, they become closer.
  6. Give your partner a foot massage or back rub. A loving and romantic physical gesture can make a partner feel special and cared for. There is nothing more comforting than the warm touch of loving hands.
  7. Go out for dessert. One night after dinner at home, surprise your partner by taking him or her out for desert. It’s a sweet thing that doesn’t cost much, and it will make you feel like you had a spontaneous mini-date.
  8. Watch an old black-and-white movie together. Things were so different back then—and the way men and women spoke to each other and the things they did together might give you some fresh ideas for how to make your modern lives a little more loving.
  9. Snuggle by the fire. And if you don’t have a fireplace, go somewhere that does and share a glass of wine together. If you're staying home, kill the artificial lights, light some candles and make it a more special evening.
  10. Thank your in-laws. Really. Let your partner’s family know how happy you are together, and that you think they did a great job of helping to make him or her the wonderful person you're proud to be with.

Creating more love in your relationship is not rocket science. It is simply a matter of taking a little time to plan and then play. Enjoy special occasions together, but keep the spirit of love alive all year long.

More from Barton Goldsmith Ph.D.
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