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Divorce for Grownups

Divorce Need Not be Destructive--Here's Why

Anger
Some Thoughts about Intimacy and Couples Conflict

Sam Margulies on March 5, 2010

Successful conflict resolution in intimate relationships requires essentially different strategies than does conflicts in busoiness or professional relationships. Because intimate relationships are more fragile in nmany ways than other relationships the relationship requires greater priority than the subject at issue.

Successful conflict resolution in intimate relationships requires essentially different strategies than does conflicts in busoiness or professional relationships. Because intimate relationships are more fragile in nmany ways than other relationships the relationship requires greater priority than the subject at issue.

Marriage
The Annual Marital Performance Review

Sam Margulies on February 10, 2010

 If more couples used an annual performance review with each other, marital difficulties would be identified before it is too late.

 If more couples used an annual performance review with each other, marital difficulties would be identified before it is too late.

Relationships
Alienation of Affection in Southern Divorce

Sam Margulies on January 7, 2010

 Alienation of affection lawsuits are a quaint but potent holdover from simpler times that can complicate the negotiation of a divorce settlement.

 Alienation of affection lawsuits are a quaint but potent holdover from simpler times that can complicate the negotiation of a divorce settlement.

Attention
Marriage and Paying Attention

Sam Margulies on December 8, 2009

Marriages don't break. They slowly erode and starve to death as distractions sap the vitality of the relationship because couples neglect the care and feeding of the marriage.

Marriages don't break. They slowly erode and starve to death as distractions sap the vitality of the relationship because couples neglect the care and feeding of the marriage.

Divorce
Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

Sam Margulies on November 12, 2009

How you tell your spouse that you want a divorce can determine whether the divorce will be relatively peaceful or litigious and destructive.

How you tell your spouse that you want a divorce can determine whether the divorce will be relatively peaceful or litigious and destructive.

Divorce
The Six Signals of Divorce

Sam Margulies on November 2, 2009

The decision to divorce develops slowly and one of the spouses is often surprised. Here are six signals that almost always mean divorce is imminent.

The decision to divorce develops slowly and one of the spouses is often surprised. Here are six signals that almost always mean divorce is imminent.

Divorce
Divorce and Affairs

Sam Margulies on October 22, 2009

When a partner has had an affair and the couple is divorcing, divorce mediation is more challenging because the other spouse may insist that the affair was the only reason for the divorce and that the guilty spouse should be punished. But insistent reality testing on the part of the mediator should help both spouses to take responsibility for making the mediation successful.

When a partner has had an affair and the couple is divorcing, divorce mediation is more challenging because the other spouse may insist that the affair was the only reason for the divorce and that the guilty spouse should be punished. But insistent reality testing on the part of the mediator should help both spouses to take responsibility for making the mediation successful.

Law and Crime
The "Best" Lawyers

Sam Margulies on April 28, 2009

When divorcing couples search for the "best" lawyers, they often end up choosing the worst. Here's why.

When divorcing couples search for the "best" lawyers, they often end up choosing the worst. Here's why.

Anger
Divorce Piggy Bank

Sam Margulies on April 21, 2009

How about buying a divorce piggy bank so that you can save for your divorce whenever you do something to screw up your marriage?

How about buying a divorce piggy bank so that you can save for your divorce whenever you do something to screw up your marriage?

Divorce
Is There Such a Thing as a "Good Divorce"?

Sam Margulies on March 30, 2009

Although "good divorce" may seem like an oxymoron, most couples can achieve it if they know how it is done. Read this and learn how.

Although "good divorce" may seem like an oxymoron, most couples can achieve it if they know how it is done. Read this and learn how.

Divorce
When Friends and Family Get Divorced

Sam Margulies on March 25, 2009

Giving advice to divorcing friends can be hazardous to them when you are not a genuine expert on divorce.

Giving advice to divorcing friends can be hazardous to them when you are not a genuine expert on divorce.

Forgiveness
How to Apologize to a Woman

Sam Margulies on March 11, 2009

Most men don’t know how to apologize. Yet, in intimate relationships, an effective apology can quickly heal an inadvertent injury. Here are six elements to a good apology.

Most men don’t know how to apologize. Yet, in intimate relationships, an effective apology can quickly heal an inadvertent injury. Here are six elements to a good apology.

Divorce
Some Thoughts on Blame in Divorce

Sam Margulies on July 1, 2008

Despite the fact that most states have passed no fault divorce laws, fault and blame continue to play a large role in the ways that divorces develop.

Despite the fact that most states have passed no fault divorce laws, fault and blame continue to play a large role in the ways that divorces develop.

Divorce
Divorce Settlements are Very Predicatable

Sam Margulies on June 10, 2008

If you know the truth about divorce settlements it could save you thousands of dollars. Almost all divorces settle along very predicatable norms and cases only go to trial when one or more lawyers or clients are nuts.

If you know the truth about divorce settlements it could save you thousands of dollars. Almost all divorces settle along very predicatable norms and cases only go to trial when one or more lawyers or clients are nuts.

Relationships
Virtual Infidelity

Sam Margulies on May 30, 2008

Now you can have adultery without sex. Many believe that infidelity exists if you have intimate communication with a member of the opposite sex or look at torrid stuff on the internet.

Now you can have adultery without sex. Many believe that infidelity exists if you have intimate communication with a member of the opposite sex or look at torrid stuff on the internet.

Divorce
The Psychology of Divorce

Sam Margulies on May 22, 2008

Divorce is both a legal process as well as a psychological process. The legal process is important but the psychological process and how it is played out by the couple largely determines the tone and the nature of the divorce.

Divorce is both a legal process as well as a psychological process. The legal process is important but the psychological process and how it is played out by the couple largely determines the tone and the nature of the divorce.