Does Mindfulness Stress You Out?
How to let go of the expectation and hype surrounding mindfulness.
Posted November 8, 2012
Does Mindfulness Stress You Out?
Sounds like a paradox, right? By all common logic, we shouldn't be stressed out if we're practicing mindfulness or meditation. We hear over and over in the news how those practices are supposed to help us relax. Yet I hear over and over from clients that the whole concept of mindfulness provokes anxiety. It's time to strip down the concept of mindfulness and make it accessible to everyone.
What Is Mindfulness?
You will never find one true definition because the experience varies by culture and personal experience. Virtually all cultures around the globe have some version of what we collectively refer to as mindfulness. It could involve Eastern traditions of meditation, Western traditions of prayer, or completely secular experiences of simply living in the present moment.
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn is perhaps the most recognizable name in the modern day academic study and practice of mindfulness; especially relating to its application in pain and stress reduction. He points out three factors that make up mindfulness: acceptance, non-striving, and non-judging awareness.
Perhaps it's helpful to list a few terms that point to the essence of mindfulness:
- “Being” rather than “doing”
- Quieting the mind
- Non-judgmental noticing
It can be practiced virtually anywhere, anytime, requires no tools, no money, and no formal training. Wait, what? If that's true then why is the market flooded with meditation classes, audio guides, books, fancy retreats, phone apps, expensive pillows, bracelets, bobbles, and gizmos?
1. Where there's a market, there are marketers. Where there are marketers there are trends. And when the trend happens to be mindfulness, that's a good thing.
2. Many of these items genuinely do help a meditation/mindfulness practitioner develop and strengthen their practice. Many teachers and products are truly helpful and sincere in their intention. If a meditation retreat brings someone much needed guidance and relaxation, all the better. But my message is that places and things are by no means a prerequisite for being mindful or for developing a contemplative practice such as meditation.
So What Do I Need In Order To Practice?
You. That's it. Just show up to the moment. Mindfulness is not a modern spiritual movement. It's not a new-age fad. It's simply you at your most natural state of being. It's a practical everyday phenomenon that you've already experienced without even labeling it. Have you ever just stared into the flame of a flickering candle? Or the intricate petals of a flower? Have you watched the twitching nose of a sleeping puppy? That was mindfulness. It required nothing of you other than to be there.
Then Why Does The Concept Stress Me Out?
There's a lot of pressure to be perfectionist in our pursuits. Perhaps you've read a book or watched the news and internalized someone else's idea of what it means to be mindful. Maybe you tried it a few times and determined that your experience didn't match up with their description of what it should feel like. So you got frustrated and you quit. "It's too hard." "I'm terrible at it."
I'm here to say that you're not terrible at it. You don't have to subscribe to a method, you don't have to attend a retreat, you don't have to spend any money, and you don't have to expect a certain outcome. That statement will threaten a lot of people- the money makers, the retreat schedulers, the devout practitioners of a certain faith. That's okay- I'm not a shareholder.
So How Should I Approach It?
Like I mentioned earlier, try staring into a gently flickering flame. Pick a flower and explore its perfect imperfections. Engage your senses by smelling the flower, feeling its petals, noticing how your feet come into contact with the floor, the entire experience of just being in that moment. You're not trying to control or prevent your thoughts. Thoughts will pass through your mind but you're learning that your attention doesn't have to get carried with them. When you notice your attention has wandered, simply bring yourself back to the present moment.
Mindfulness Essential Reads
For more ideas for cultivating a mindfulness practice, download my inexpensive ebook on Amazon: Cultivating Your Everyday Mindfulness
Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Guided Mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn: 4 Practice CDs Series 1. Sounds True. 2002.
Brad Waters MSW, is a career coach-consultant who offers a full menu of career development services to clients nationwide. Visit www.bradwaterscoaching.com to request a free consultation
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