6 Ways Motivated Mishearing Influences Your Decisions

Source: Bing

How often do you mishear or misunderstand what people say? Most of us get it wrong at least some of the time; it's why we appreciate just how much attentive listening underpins our judgment and decisions.

But we do listen. Don't we?

Tuning in matters, especially in a polarized world. It also matters to you. Listening influences up to 40 percent of the average individual’s performance and salary—and for those in positions of power, it can be up to 80 percent.

Yet in some ways, we're secretly motivated to mishear. The question is why and how to tune in when it really matters.

A Tuned Out World

Are experts always tuned in? Consider professional doctors, lawyers, advisors, consultants, or therapists whose accurate interpretation underpins their diagnosis. A history of avoidable human error, misconduct, and misjudgment suggests tone-deaf decision-making is rampant, regardless of status, title, or position. But one error is enough.

Repercussions are not just moral or financial. Unheard voices, missed signals, misdiagnosed conditions, dismissed whistle-blowers, overlooked minorities and marginalized perspectives wreak havoc on lives, reputations, and organisational sustainability.

Even the most well-intentioned individuals only listen at partial efficiency. It’s not necessarily our fault. We can't process too much in a noisy world of distraction, data overload, and disinformation. Signals, warnings, subtleties, and clues frequently get drowned out.

As I write in my book, Tune In: How to Make Decisions in a Noisy World, unconscious tuning out significantly impacts our judgment. The problem is we think we hear more than we do. As humans, we’re pre-programmed to want to feel good and feel smart. We feel smart when we listen to the comfortable, familiar, and convenient voices over the voices of conscience or common sense, difference, or dissent. We’re unconsciously motivated to mishear and misinterpret important information.

Six psychological reasons explain why:

1. Ostrich-Like Denial

We tune out information perceived as costly or threatening and tune in to what makes us feel good. So we drive fast, gamble freely, and neglect savings and check-ups.

We also don't like to admit error or want to hear “I told you so.” Everyone from police and politicians to parents delays the discomfort of bad news. Leaders surround themselves with sycophants. Experts dismiss contrary feedback. “Let me tell you why I’m right…”

The result? Patients defer operations, teachers ignore warnings and traders hold losses. Tuning out is often easier than accepting reality. Once something is known, we can't exactly "unknow" it. We’re motivated to tune out bad news to feel good and reduce cognitive dissonance.

2. Wishful Hearing

We’re also motivated to tune out harsh reality and tune in optimistic, hope-filled narratives. Sometimes, we want something to be true so badly it deafens us to logic. That’s wishful hearing, a cousin of deaf ear syndrome. It affects countless people, from politicians who hope they'll win an election, to substance users who hope they can kick their addictions, to millions of scammed victims hope to recover their lost money.

People also outweigh the probability of positive outcomes and assume illness, divorce, accidents or unemployment won’t happen. Many accomplished athletes neglect the true probability of winning medals. The odds are against it.

In organisations, uncontrolled wishful thinking is a liability. If boards hear excessive optimism, it should sound an immediate alarm. It often doesn’t. We hear what we hope is true. We also hope for the best because we can’t imagine the worst.

3. Confirmation Bias

Seeking information that aligns with preconceived beliefs and disregarding contradictory evidence is commonly known as confirmation bias. We become even more motivated to tune out contradictory evidence to feel smart. If you only seek data that confirms wishful thinking, you’ll feel better.

Such selective hearing gives you comfort and reassurance, reinforcing your initial beliefs. After all, the dreaded event may not happen. The markets may not crash or your partner may not be unfaithful.

Once we hear what we want to hear—or think we hear it, at least—we tune out alternative explanations and don’t challenge misplaced, deliberate, or exaggerated assumptions, further entrenching false beliefs and a reluctance to reflect.

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4. Reluctance to Reflect

According to a study by Kings College London, 47 percent of respondents believe deep thinking has become a thing of the past. What if every second person merely accepts inadequate reflection? This is especially risky in the workplace. According to Microsoft, 68 percent of employees report insufficient uninterrupted time to do their jobs properly.

Yes, lack of reflection is partly attributable to the modern 24/7 environment we live in—but it’s also a function of warped cognition. Certain biases propel us towards action rather than reflection, namely action bias.

Most people prefer to do something rather than nothing. Think of goalkeepers dramatically diving for the ball rather than standing still. However, studies show that even three seconds of reflection makes a material difference to impulsive judgment. Ask anyone with a temper!

5. Overconfidence

Another major reason we’re motivated to mishear the truth is overconfidence in our understanding of what we hear. According to an Accenture survey of 3,600 professionals in 30 countries, 96 percent of professionals self-reported as being good listeners. How could this be true?

It’s the above-average effect, a phenomenon that is repeated for driving, dancing, and communicating. We simply think we’re better and smarter than we are—at most things. And we think we have a higher moral compass than the average person.

It's not surprising, then, that we’re motivated to tune out alternative ideas or plans because we think we’re right. But as I've written before, confidence can also be a con.

6. Self-Delusion

A perception-reality gap exists between how we rank our listening skills and how others do. Try asking your partner or friend to rank you. Others rarely see us in the same glowing way we see ourselves.

For instance, the self-assessments of 500 leaders were compared with 10,000 peer assessments over 15 years. An overwhelming 84 percent of peers disagreed with the leader’s self-reported listening skills. This discrepancy reinforces our tendency to believe we're more attuned than we are. The cycle of overconfidence sets in.

In effect, we’re motivated to tune out because not only do we confidently think we’re tuned in, but we wrongly think others think we’re tuned into them.

Tuning In To Better Judgement

Tuning in to what matters is easier than you think. It's not so hard to pause, probe, and ponder alternative interpretations, especially in high-stakes situations. Keeping your goals top-of-mind and the consequences of decision damage salient helps.

At scale, the impact of tuning out is detrimental. Being motivated to hear what’s right is a conscious choice. Judgement is not taught but it is controllable with low effort.

Behavioral science can help. It starts with understanding why you tune in to certain voices and tune out critical facts, unfamiliar voices, and disliked messengers. When recalling a mistake, consider how you might have appraised, recalibrated, or heard things differently.

Actively reinterpreting and adopting the right frame of mind is a start. The first step can reshape outcomes, mend broken connections, and facilitate decisions that steer us toward a more harmonious and equitable future. Tuning in consciously, despite the cacophony all around, isn't just a choice—it's an investment in human understanding and societal progress.

What you hear is never all there is. It’s time to tune in.