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As a mother and daughter with diverse career experience as a military veteran, engineering researcher, psychotherapist, and entrepreneur, I have a number of reactions to International Women’s Day. I have felt the pain of discrimination and harassment, and have witnessed its ill effects on others. The fact that female genital mutilation, child marriage, abduction for sex trade, and a host of other crimes against the female gender occur is abhorrent to me. So, I’m glad there’s a day and a worldwide movement that seeks equality among humans.
But, I’m a little bothered by this year’s theme, “Think Equal, Build Smart, Innovate for Change.”
I understand the merit and spirit behind the theme. It seeks to advance gender equality and empower women.
Before I explain my concern with the theme, I think it helps to address the grander identity issue of what it means to be female. I’m sure a number of answers would surface if we took a poll.
What do you think it means to be a female?
Now let me ask a different question, what are some common negative descriptions associated with females?
(Of course, this would be a great live group discussion. You can always share your comments at the end.)
Some descriptions I have heard others use include: weak, dumb, emotional, sensitive, crazy, irrational, not logical, touch-feely, talkative, flighty.
These words have come from males and females.
Keep in mind that all humans have both estrogen and testosterone (the female and male hormones). As men and women age, their dominant sex hormone tends to decrease while the other increases a bit. (Explaining why some older women may have a few stray hairs along their chin and possibly explaining why some older men tend to become more emotionally empathetic.)
What does this mean and where am I going with this?
My concern with this year’s theme is that it uses phraseology that has been used to belittle women for generations. Think equal may not be the solution for achieving equality. Women have also been silenced and bullied when they’ve been chided to, “Be smart…think smart…get a brain.”
I don’t know that we need to innovate for change either. My sense is that humane treatment will emanate when all of us (male and female) stop defending against being female. In other words, don’t be afraid to be weak (vulnerable), dumb (humble), emotional (aware of your feelings), sensitive (compassionate), crazy (connected and possibly responding to a multitude of systemic influences), irrational and illogical (intuitive), touchy-feely (heart-centered and empathic), talkative (communicative), flighty (creative and in flow).
When we embrace what we think/feel is weak, we paradoxically become stronger, more integrated, more authentic, more compassionate—and then we become part of the solution.
