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Like many of you, I live in a Zoom meeting world. I have had as many as six Zoom meetings a day, and I know that’s probably an easy day for some of you. I’m happy to say that a few of those are late-day gatherings with friends where we discuss topics like books, movies, or hobbies. I’ve played trivia games with colleagues and even fellow high school alumni. Sometimes wine is involved.
But what I hear over and over again from my friends are words like "overwhelmed," "tired," "exhausted," "Zoomed-out," "stressed," and "pressured." All are normal reactions to what we are dealing with, particularly as our work lives blend into our home lives.
Usually, we are able to box our problems into work problems, or home problems, and shift our focus and energy temporarily. But not so with the coronavirus. The coronavirus is 24/7 and the typical boundaries are gone. Those working from home are dealing with home and work issues at the same time, particularly if they are trying to raise and educate children. And those who are working outside their homes carry their work home in the fear of perhaps unknowingly transmitting the virus to family and loved ones. And every aspect of normal life, like grocery shopping, is now a multi-stage process sprinkled with anxiety and drama.
Enter the internet with helpful solutions in the form of, I don’t know, a MILLION articles, about how to cope. (In fact, here’s a great one from a fellow Psychology Today blogger.)
Unfortunately, though, all the advice becomes contradictory and overwhelming. We start thinking: How do I relax and find time for myself when I’m told that I must "make the most" of this time period and achieve new heights? And for anyone with even the slightest of perfectionistic standards, we begin to wonder if we are coping as well as we could or should. We begin asking ourselves:
- “How should I be coping with this situation?”
- "Should I be doubling-down on my job search or just waiting it out?"
- “Is it wrong that I'm binge-watching everything?"
- "Am I doing enough? I’m not taking advantage of this ‘found time’ like the articles say I should.”
- “Shouldn’t I use this time to write a book, play an instrument, learn a new hobby, exercise more, meditate more, find my purpose and passion, find a new job, create a new life, etc.?"
And you know what? If one of those options sounds appealing to you, go for it. This might be the perfect moment to carve out time for yourself to think about what you’d like to change in your life, or what you’d like to do. I think there’s a great reality check to this period: personally, I have now learned that things I always said I would do if I had more time, I’m not actually doing. Well, there’s an item to knock off the Bucket List. Looks like I won’t be doing that. This might also just be the time to focus on tasks at hand, get them done, and then relax. In whatever way works best for you.
So for those of you who are just trying to keep moving forward in a positive way, but also not overwhelm yourself with expectations and perfection and those ridiculous “should’s,” I have a relatively simple process. A few months ago I wrote a series of posts about what I called “deceptively simple lists,” simple lists you write down which help you organize your thoughts and disrupt the rumination happening in your brain. If you write things down, you start to gain clarity. Your lizard brain likes to ramble on and on with the “what if’s,” and when you start writing down those “what if’s” they see the light of day and the more logical part of your brain can take over and manage it.
So here’s my “deceptively simple list” system for managing coronavirus time. Write it down. Make a list. I started doing this every day a few weeks ago, and I am amazed at the difference it has made for me, both in terms of my work production and my mental health. My philosophy is to do the best I can and get done what I can reasonably get done each day. Remove the super-human status. Just do the best you can at the moment.
I know you can purchase calendars and all sorts of organizers that will accomplish this, but I like this simple method of a piece of notebook paper for each day that I can throw away and start fresh in the morning. I particularly like to use this system on the weekend when I have a lot of personal "to-do's" to work on.
Here’s how you do it:
- Start by taking a piece of paper (lined or unlined) or opening a word document on your computer. (I have a preference for spiral-bound notebooks, but that’s just me. Use what you want.)
- Draw a vertical line down the center of the paper.
- On the left column, write all those “to-do’s” you’ve been thinking about. Go for it. Everything that is stressing you or hanging over your head, as well as the fun things you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t.
- Now, on the right column, place the hours in your day. I start mine at 7:00 am and go to 9:00 pm, but you can put whatever your normal day is. I do mine in hour-long segments, but you might choose 30-minute or even 15-minute segments for yourself.
- Now, review your left-hand column. What are the chores, work activities, responsibilities, etc., that MUST get done today? Take those items and move them into specific time periods. Keep in mind that you might not have time to complete a whole project, but if you can budget one hour to work on it, you might at least get a headstart on it. Be creative and flexible. Sure, it would be nice to spend a whole hour focusing on your new hobby, but maybe 15 minutes is better than nothing.
- Once you have placed your “to-do’s” in their time slots, you’ll have a better, more organized image of your day. Take a moment to review it. Is it realistic? Does it allow for the many interruptions you’ll likely have? For instance, you might have to assume that for every hour time slot, 15 minutes will be eaten up by children, phone calls, etc. Have you found a way to give yourself at least some “me” time (even if it’s a commitment to stop and breathe for a minute every hour on the hour)?
You may or may not be able to stick to your plan. (That’s where pencils instead of pens come in handy.) You might have to move items around or maybe something doesn’t get done. That’s OK, move it to the next day and try again. For instance, my original list for today included blocking two hours for editing a book I'm writing. Instead, I used the two-hour block to write this post. Editing will now happen later today. Stress officially reduced.
And now, you can also look at those big projects you’ve been considering (remodeling the kitchen?). Break them down into smaller pieces that you can schedule. You might write in 30 minutes to look up reviews on kitchen remodelers or call friends for references. You might call three remodelers to get estimates. You get the idea. Break it down.
It's a great feeling when you can go through this organized day and check off all your accomplishments. But you know what? It’s also OK if you can’t, and have to punt things to the next day. This is a day-at-a-time system where you start fresh. You can keep your left-column list updated as you cross off completed items and add new ones, but the right column is fresh and new each day, just like you. Try this and see if it helps.
©2020. Katharine Brooks. All rights reserved.
