Weathering a Disaster Can Bring Couples Closer Together

I study couple relationships, including the way that stress can affect couples, but I never thought I would end up studying a major natural disaster. However, that is what happened when a recent study was interrupted in the middle by Hurricane Harvey. What my colleagues and I found about the impact of the hurricane on the couples in our study really surprised me. Our newly published research showed that experiencing the hurricane actually had a positive effect on the couples’ relationships: Couples reported higher levels of satisfaction with their relationship after the hurricane than before it.

My colleagues and I were conducting a study of how relationships change and grow over the first few years of marriage by following a group of over 200 newlywed couples living in Houston, Texas. Our research team had already visited the couples three times in their homes over the course of two and a half years and interviewed each partner about their relationship. We were just about to start the fourth round of interviews in August 2017 when Hurricane Harvey, the largest hurricane to make landfall in the U.S. in over a decade, swept into Houston.

Satellite view of a hurricane.

Source: NASA/NOAA GOES Project acquired from Public Health Image Library

Harvey took an enormous toll on the Houston community: 300,000 structures were flooded, 336,000 customers lost power, 40,000 people were evacuated or fled to temporary shelters, and 30,000 water rescues were conducted. In the end, Harvey caused $125 billion in damage, making it the second-costliest hurricane in U.S. history (Blake & Zelinsky, 2018). The focus of our study quickly shifted from looking at normal relationship development to examining how couples coped with this major stressor.

The surprising impact of a natural disaster on a relationship

We followed up with the couples multiple times after the hurricane to interview them about their relationship and see how they were doing. When we looked at how their happiness with their relationship had changed over time, we found that, on average, the couples reported a major jump in happiness after the hurricane. Their relationship became more satisfying after experiencing the hurricane than it was before. And interestingly, this was most true for couples who were the least satisfied before the hurricane. Their happiness increased a great deal, whereas the increase was not significant for the couples who were most happy before the hurricane.

What is going on here? Why would experiencing an incredibly stressful event make couples happier? Our study can’t answer that definitively, but we have a few ideas. It’s possible that the hurricane reminded people of the importance of their spouse in their life, especially the importance of having a partner to deal with a major stressor. Additionally, things that seemed like a big deal before—dirty dishes left in the sink, for example—are diminished in the face of much more pressing needs, like acquiring safe drinking water and cleaning up from flooding.

However, we also found that this boost in relationship happiness was temporary.

Over the course of the following year, couples’ levels of satisfaction began to decrease, leaving them similar to where they were before the hurricane. It seems that as life gradually returns to normal, couples may find that old problems and concerns re-surface, and their brief ability to overlook them has diminished.

Of course, I don’t mean to suggest that experiencing a natural disaster is a good thing—I’m not suggesting you take a vacation in Florida during hurricane season if your relationship is on the rocks. Harvey had an enormously negative toll on many people, including causing deaths and the destruction of many homes. But these findings help us to remember that our romantic partners are some of the most important people in our lives. During the day-to-day grind of work, taking care of kids, housework, etc., it can be easy to forget how valuable our partners are. A major event, like the hurricane, can help us set aside those daily hassles and see our relationships in a new light. I think our relationships would benefit if we could all try to cultivate that perspective every day, and not just in the face of a major stressor.