Personality
“I Want to Have the Happiest Do-Right Dog in the World”
There are many easy ways to let your dog be a dog and please you and them.
Posted January 27, 2023 Reviewed by Davia Sills
Key points
- The happiest dogs are those who are allowed to express their dogness as much as possible, even if we don't like it some of the time.
- Dogs don't want to hear never-ending unrelenting commands that stop them from being dogs and compromise their well-being.
- Mutual trust between a dog and their human is critical for building deep social connections and for both to have the best life possible.
A few weeks ago, I received an email from Bridgette telling me, "I want to have the happiest do-right dog in the world." She explained her situation, focusing on the fact that she was a new dog guardian and had rescued a dog, Venus, "with a smushed up nose" who'd had a "tough" early life. Bridgette wanted to know how to accomplish her goal of having Venus trust her and have the best life possible. She emphasized that what she meant by "do-right dog" was to have Venus be as much of a dog as possible in a human-controlled world.
As I was writing this piece, I saw Zazie Todd's essay "Flat-Faced Dogs Must Be Able to Breathe, Says New Campaign," in which she hit the nail on the head—of course, all dogs must not only be able to breathe but also have the best life they can and be as happy as possible.1 Zazie's piece was very timely because I'm always thinking about questions such as Bridgette's, and they raise numerous concerns about dog-human relationships.
What can Bridgette do?
Focusing on the positive side of things and being fair to people who are trying to do their best, here are some rhetorical questions and answers that can help people choosing to live with dogs.2
What's "good behavior," and who's a "good dog"? It depends on whose point of view you're taking. From the dog's perspective, "good behavior" would be whatever they like to do to express their dogness—for example, sniffing as much as they want to without being yanked here and there and also sniffing what humans call inappropriate body areas, such as groins and butts—so they can do what comes naturally and do what they're supposed to do as members of Canis lupus familiaris. Allow them to exercise their senses and express themselves when appropriate. Provide acceptable alternatives whenever possible.
What is the gold standard of dog behavior? From the dog's point of view, it would be allowing them to do as much normal dog behavior as possible and also allowing them to agree with you about what you want them to do. For me, the gold standard would be to allow them to do totally appropriate dog behaviors as much as possible, and if they are inappropriate in human terms, give them as much freedom to do dog behaviors whenever possible. I'm sure dogs get frustrated when humans are constantly helicoptering them and telling them, "No!" or "Stop doing that."
It's also important for humans to know the personality of every individual dog and accept that what works for one dog might not work for another dog, even littermates and other siblings. From many human's point of view, the gold standard would be to have a dog do what they want them to do. But dogs aren't humans, and to be happy and content, they need to have enough freedom to be able to be a dog.
Are these basic rules easy to teach and easy for the dog to learn? Usually they are, with some patience from both the dog and their human. And the best way to reach a mutually acceptable agreement would always be to use positive, force-free teaching methods so that both the dog and their human can be educated in mutually beneficial ways. Humans should never ever use tough love.
What is the best way to make the dog learn the rules and remain happy? Letting them know what you want them to do and allowing them as much freedom and flexibility as possible to do what they need to do to be a dog.
What are the three best ways to ensure safety during a walk with one’s dog? Don't yank a dog here and there because it can injure them and you. If they're lagging behind, make sure they're feeling OK—just because they're out on a walk that should be fun doesn't always mean they're enjoying themselves. They might be ill, injured, or simply having a bad day. Also, be sure that when they meet another dog, they really want to say "hello" and sniff them—pay attention to the dog's personality—sometimes they want to say "hello," and sometimes they just want to be left alone. Always consider their point of view.
Do rules change according to the situation? Absolutely. Context is a critical variable. For city dogs, there usually are far more dangers than for dogs who live in more rural areas, so city-dwelling canines need to know what is safe or best for them, even if it confines their lives. The many dogs with whom I shared my mountain home had a lot of freedom to do whatever they wanted, but they still knew where they shouldn't go and to avoid dangerous animals, such as mountain lions, black bears, and coyotes.
How many rules are necessary? It's impossible to say because so much depends on who the dog is—their unique personality—and where they live and your relationship with them. In my humble opinion, the fewer the rules, the better for everyone. There are some rules that must be enforced, such as not chasing cars or running up to people and jumping on them, but depending on the situation, these and other behaviors might be OK.
What happens to a dog who must obey too many rules? I'm sure they get very frustrated and often bored because their lives are so limited and they're not allowed to be a dog. Sometimes this can simply make them withdraw because they're so unhappy, and sometimes they might rebel and tell their human that this doesn't work for me—"I am a dog, and I have to be able to express my dogness." I often wonder why some people choose to get a dog when it will be impossible for the dog to be a dog.
We demand a lot from our dogs. When focusing on good behavior, are we forgetting to let the dog be a dog and do doggish things? Yes! Absolutely. I think the happiest dogs are those who are allowed to express their dogness as much as possible, even if we don't like it some of the time. They don't necessarily learn "bad" habits when they're allowed to be a dog.
Dogs also can express their dogness by following what Jessica Pierce and I call the "Ten Freedoms," allowing them to be "unleashed" from us as often as possible.3
Coda: I sent Bridgette a draft of this essay, and she told me she learned a lot and appreciated the positive attitude she could transmit positivity to Venus. Dogs simply don't want to hear never-ending unrelenting commands that stop them from being dogs.
References
1) The World Small Animal Veterinary Association (WSAVA) requirement that people should "only breed from dogs if they are able to take a brisk walk for three minutes without having any issues with their breathing" sets a very low bar that doesn't offer a high-quality life for many if not most dogs. Zazie writes, "I am sure dog guardians would agree with veterinarian Jane Ladlow of the BOAS Research Group at Cambridge Veterinary School, UK, when she says in the video, "Dogs should be able to run outside without labored breathing, eat without gasping for breath, and sleep without obstructing." She also notes, "Hopefully, increased awareness will lead people to pick dogs with less extreme features."
2) Thanks to Regina Röttgen, a writer for Austria's Hunde magazine, for help with these questions, the answers to which are based on a wide variety of studies.
3) For more ideas about how to have a happy dog, see 21 Ways to Give Your Dog a Great Quality of Life and Dogs, Captivity, and Freedom: Unleash Them Whenever You Can. Keep in mind that many dogs could likely do well without us—see A Dog's World: Imagining the Lives of Dogs in a World without Humans.
Calling in the Dogs with Marc Bekoff.
Why Our Dogs Don't Need Tough Love.
Do Dogs Learn 'Bad Habits' When They're Allowed to Be Dogs?'
Do Your Dog and You Agree About What You Want Them to Do?
Why You Shouldn't Yank a Dog's Leash.
Why It's Time to Consider a Walk on Your Dog's Terms.
"Are You Being Fair to Right-Minded Dog Owners?"
Canine Confidential: Why Dogs Do What They Do.
Unleashing Your Dog: A Field Guide to Giving Your Canine Companion the Best Life Possible.