Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D., MPP

Experiencing Outrage Overload?

If you're not outraged you're not paying attention but if you are outraged you're paying a price. Here's a new approach to dealing with outrage overwhelm.

Compensatory Narcissism Is a Natural Life Stage

Childhood narcissism can be so rough that some of us spend our whole lives trying to climb clear of our wrong beginnings and may never manage. Here's how to get beyond it.

How to Be a Happy Healthy Snob

Are you sick of all those snobs out there? Do you laugh about them with your friends? You may be a counter-snob. If so, enjoy but keep it light.

Managing the Tension Between Hope and Realism

Tired of being jerked up and down by every bit of news? Get yourself a psychic clutch pedal so you can couple and decouple your hope and realism.

The Dream of Total Freedom and Security

We all want the freedom to rise and security to keep us from falling. Total jerks pretend that they have earned exclusive rights to infinite freedom and security.

Adult Children of Scoldaholics

The children of chronic scolders tend to scold a lot—lest they become the victims of yet more scolding.

Making the World Safe for Outrage, Escapism, and Rigidity

You may think you want to rid the world of outrage, escapism, and rigidity, but you can't and shouldn't. Still, they're dangerous. So how to use them where they help, not harm?

Expectation Management

Do you expect too much from people or too little? Both, which is natural since we're all guessing what to expect.

What’s the Trouble with Kids These Days?

A different angle on how virtual realities are corrupting youth today.

Emergence Explained: How Hierarchy Really Happens

We say a whole is more than the sum of its parts, which describes but doesn't explain anything. Actually, a whole is less than the sum of its parts' possible interactions.

Corny, Cute, Cunning Wordplay as a Path To Psych Savvy

Playing with words can help you work with words to better understand human behavior.

The Struggle for Existence is the Origin of Consciousness

Researchers usually start too high, trying to explain consciousness without first explaining the struggle for existence. Here's a new model that explains the struggle in us all.

Five Word Watching Tips for People Aiming to Wise Up

The road to ever-better wisdom is paved with slippery words. Here are five tips for treading them with the care it takes to keep moving forward.

Here’s How People Become Tyrants at Home or Anywhere

Dealing with a bully? Wondering why they're like that? Here's a simple, realistic explanation that's often overlooked.

A Different Kind of #MeToo Movement

A mini-manifesto for a #metoo movement in which we all could admit that we're human, warts and all.

Robo-Envy: Wishing People Were Computers

Your mind is not a computer but it's a bit like a computer programmer, automating everything it can as know-how habits. We sometimes wish minds could automate everything.

Overwhelmed? Here’s a Self-Help Solution Sweeping the Nation

Outrage therapy is like a juice cleanse for the ego. Express outrage at what disappoints you and you'll feel like a saint.

There's Room for Racism in this Country

Yes, it would be lovely if you could just purge the sinners like God on judgment day. That's not ours to do. The human family has to live with itself, warts and all.

Seven Overlooked Reasons Partnership Is More Difficult Today

If you wonder why it has become so difficult to find and sustain romantic partnerships, here are some factors to consider.

Frustrated by Politics? Try Psycho-Proctology

Instead of focusing on what you wish everyone would do, try your hand at identifying what no one should get away with doing.

A Deeper Reason it's so Hard to Escape Prejudice

Why do we build walls? Why can't we all just be open to everything? Because with the power of language, humans face way more of everything than any other organism.

The Biggest Blind Spot in Psychology We All Ignore

Engineering is genius. With it, we can model any behavior using just lines and switches, like train tracks. Trouble is, it can never explain why you try to do anything.

A Non-Woowoo Definition of Wisdom

A practical definition of wisdom is Reversitility: A versatile ability to hold opposites in mind. It's a great way to keep oversimplification from getting you in trouble.

Are You On Track? What's the Object of Life's Game Anyway?

Scientists know the consequences of purpose but not what it is. A new origins of life theory provides grounding for your personal quest for peace of mind that you're living right.

Why Extremists Prevail

Attention seeks efficiency, ignoring what stays the same, attending to what's extreme and surprising. This explains our trend toward polarized extremists capturing our attention.

An Atheist and an Evangelical Walk into a Bar...

An imagined meeting of the minds about faith and fiction.

What a Setback Really Means

12 observations to help you orient for efficient learning from things not going as you expected.

How to Handle Self-Affirming Fictions

Myfi—my fictions, delusions of grandeur, can make great, healthy hobbies. But myfi lobbying—pressuring others to buy into them—can get dangerous.

Cognitive Sciences' Made-Harder Problem

Cognitive scientists ponder the "Hard Problem" — how experience emerges from chemistry.

Toward a Universal Book of Common Prayer

Even atheists pray in their way. We all do. It would help us find common ground if we began to identify the universal prayers, distinct from who or what might grant them.

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