What Happens at a Pet Funeral Home?

Respect for an animal doesn't end when the physical form dies, but extends into how we treat the body. "Aftercare" refers to all kinds of decisions one might face after a pet has died: how long will you stay with the body? Where will the body be kept? With what will you wrap or cover it? Will you have a funeral or memorial service? The most common approach aftercare is "let the veterinarian handle the body." I'll talk, in a future blog, about what actually happens when you leave Scruffy's body with the vet (and you probably won't like what you hear). But consider one of the latest trends in the bustling pet death industry: the pet funeral home.

To find out about the pet funeral business, I talked to Coleen Ellis. Ellis is arguably the nation's expert in animal aftercare, and has taken it as her mission to help alter the landscape of death-care for animals. Eight years ago, Ellis opened the nation's first pet funeral home, the Pet Angel Memorial Center in Indianapolis.

Based on her own experiences following the death of her terrier-schnauzer Mico, combined with her experience working in the human funeral business, she realized that the choices available after an animal dies are nothing like those offered for people. Animal bodies are "disposed of," not honored. But many "pet parents," as she calls pet owners, want to see their animal's body treated with respect, not dumped in the landfill. People don't know how to proceed after a pet has died, and vets aren't really equipped to help them. But who is? Ellis set out to fill this gap.

Ellis told me that some people feel uncomfortable using the same kinds of rituals to honor animals that we use to honor people. Funerals and wakes for animals are often furtive affairs, held in the back yard when the neighbors aren't looking (do they really want animal skeletons so close by?). We may be afraid to show others how deep our grief for an animal can run. But, she says, we shouldn't scoff at the application of death rituals to animals. We need permission to ritualize, to make the death of an animal companion meaningful, to honor them and our bond with them in ways that make sense to us. The ritual can be simple or complex, short or long—it really doesn't matter, as long as it shows our proper regard for the deceased.

She listed for me the most important services she provides for her clients at the pet funeral home. If the client chooses to have a funeral service, Ellis can arrange for a visitation period. The animal will be laid out in a coffin and family and friends can come and make their final farewells. "People don't realize how important this is, until they do it," she told me. It can be particularly helpful for people who have had to euthanize their animal at a veterinary office, perhaps unexpectedly. They may have been too overwhelmed during the euthanasia to say a proper goodbye. It is particularly important for children, she says. Children need more than "Fluffy disappeared while you were at school."

Before the visitation, Ellis will prepare the animal by closing the eyes, putting the tongue back in the mouth, cleaning the face and body, putting charcoal down the throat, packing orifices that might bleed out, pulling in the legs, and generally making sure that the animal looks natural and peaceful. The animals is wrapped in a cozy fleece blanket and placed in a casket.

After the visitation, some families choose to hold a funeral or memorial service, most often at their home, in the backyard, or at a park. Ellis will help pet owners choose readings or prayers or eulogies, and can suggest various nice touches such as candles and flowers and animal-themed foods (hot dogs, pigs in a blanket, and so forth).

In addition to helping plan aftercare services for more than 6,000 families, Ellis has helped mobilize a new arm of the pet industry. The Pet Funeral Home Directory now lists at least 80 pet funeral homes and the number is growing yearly. Ellis's work has been so successful that she has moved away from running her own funeral home and now consults with others who want to start a pet funeral business. She also works with various veterinary colleges and clinics, educating vets in death care and bereavement.

A few years ago, Ellis founded the Pet Loss Professionals Alliance, an umbrella group for all manner of animal aftercare, working in partnership with the human arm of the aftercare industry, the International Cemetery, Cremation, and Funeral Association. One of the main tasks of the PLPA is to give more formality—and more ethics—to the pet loss business. For example, the organization wants to see industry-wide agreement on terminology such as "individual cremation." Ellis would like to see each and every veterinary office have some kind of "senior package" with information about caring for an aging animal. This packet should always, she says, include a guide to planning for death and aftercare. Perhaps more than anything else, she wants to change the stereotype that pet owners who want a casket and a funeral service with and nice flowers and candles are either eccentrics who see their pets as fuzzy children or lonely people who have no friends other than their dog or cat.