How to Have a Happy and Healthy New Year

It’s that time of year again, when many of us wipe the slate clean and start afresh. Often the new year begins with lofty New Year’s resolutions, complete with unrealistic goals that lack any sort of plan or strategy for success.

The good and bad news about New Year’s resolutions

Those of us who make plans to get in better shape, lose weight, stop putting off that career move or any other major life change we’ve been thinking of making are more likely to achieve that goal if we commit to such changes at the beginning of the year than at any other time on the calendar. While some New Year’s resolutions succeed, many—some say the majority of—resolutions fail. But the bad news is that by the end of February, it is estimated that 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions have been abandoned.¹

The challenge of making changes

There’s one main underlying reason why our best intentions fall apart: We are unrealistically tough on ourselves. We struggle with unrealistic standards of appearance and beauty propagated by social media. We place a lot of pressure and faith on our willpower to carry the weight of the goals we set, even when we suspect that we are setting ourselves up to fail. Here’s the thing about making challenging life changes: If making changes were as easy as resolving to change, we probably would have already done it.

Changing the way we treat ourselves

The real challenge in making change is to shift the way we treat ourselves. When we treat ourselves well, rather than struggle under the weight of harsh restrictions, unsustainable goals, and relentless self-scrutiny, we show up for ourselves by factoring our well-being into the equation of our lives. We take care of our precious — and limited — supplies of time and energy and create healthy and life-sustaining routines and boundaries that support our dreams and goals, no matter how ambitious or elaborate.

Factoring self-care into the equation of our lives

Self-care may seem like nothing more than a passing trend, or buzzword. But in reality, it is a commitment to ourselves, a promise to factor ourselves into the equation of our own lives. It all starts with setting an intention to take care of yourself... and putting your needs first, rather than sacrificing your time and energy and leaving yourself last on your list of priorities.

When we buy a shiny new car, it comes complete with an owner’s manual, with care, maintenance, and operating instructions. If we came equipped with a similar manual, it would explain the four sources of energy we have and need to maintain: the food we eat, our sleep, our breath, and our healthy, calm state of mind.

This is what self-care is all about: fueling ourselves with fresh, high-quality, nutrition-rich foods, getting daily quality rest, keeping our problematic behaviors, habits, and self-talk in check, and surrounding ourselves with others who support a positive state of mind. And last, but by no means least, self-care is also about paying attention to our breath, pausing regularly throughout each day, and taking deep, nourishing breaths that deliver oxygen to our bodies. Self-care talk includes self-compassion, challenging our self-doubt, and self-defeating thoughts.

A New Year’s promise to yourself

This year, rather than burdening yourself with unrealistic goals, why not consider instead showing up with compassion for yourself when you’ve had a tough day? Rather than be hard on yourself when you go off-course, instead, forgive yourself and look for ways to make healthier choices and ramp up your self-care. With an understanding of the limited resources of your time and energy, set healthy boundaries around the demands of others, and create healthy habits and routines around the food you eat, making time for quality rest, and spending time with people who support and appreciate you.

If you make just one resolution, consider making 2023 a year of self-care and well-being. When you do, you will be amazed at the benefits that quality self-care brings into your life.

Five steps to enhancing your self-care

1. Make quality a priority in your life. Quality food, rest, and time to connect with friends and family feed, repair, and restore the body, mind, and spirit.
2. Pay attention to your thoughts. Challenge negative self-talk, fears, and feelings of inadequacy.
3. Be as nice to yourself as you are to others. We’re often our harshest critics and most relentless worst enemies.
4. Start saying no to requests to help others when you are running on empty or don’t have the time to take care of your own needs.
5. Try to do one nice thing for yourself every day. Do something that makes you happy and allows you to reconnect with yourself, every day. Try to connect with yourself every single day.

Wishing you and yours a healthy, happy, and fulfilling new year!