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Key points
- Pleasure is political: Experiencing joy and satisfaction is an act of resistance against oppression.
- We can rewrite outdated narratives about sex and pleasure by embracing mutual respect, consent, and equity.
- True sexual freedom isn’t just about individual choices; it requires dismantling systemic inequalities.
- Understanding boundaries, communication, and emotional regulation empowers good sex and sexual education.
In a recent episode of our Instagram/YouTube talk show, We Need to Talk About, we had the pleasure of interviewing psychologist Candice Nicole Hargons of Emory University. Her debut book, Good Sex: Stories, Science, and Strategies for Sexual Liberation, explores the crucial intersection of social justice, sexual equity, cultural norms, and personal relationships. Given today’s increasingly complex political and social climate, her insights are especially relevant.
This post highlights key themes from our conversation, breaking down the importance of intimate justice, cultural shifts, and the role of social justice in personal relationships.
Challenging Old Narratives: Cultural Recipes and Historical Sex Scripts
Sexual norms don’t appear out of nowhere; they are shaped by history, culture, and power structures. Many of these "sex scripts" come from patriarchal and colonial histories, reinforcing outdated beliefs about gender, desire, and entitlement.
Hargons introduces the concept of "cultural recipes" as an alternative—a way to reframe how we engage in sex and intimacy based on principles of consent, mutual pleasure, and respect. By shifting these ingrained beliefs, we create healthier, more equitable experiences for everyone.
Social Justice and Personal Relationships: Why They’re Connected
Sexual liberation isn’t just about personal satisfaction; it’s tied to larger systemic issues. Gender inequality, economic disparities, and access to comprehensive sexual education all influence how people experience sex and relationships.
Hargons emphasizes that true change happens both individually and collectively:
- On a personal level: Practicing self-awareness, open communication, and informed decision-making in our intimate lives.
- On a societal level: Advocating for policies and cultural shifts that challenge inequality and create more inclusive spaces for sexual well-being.
Generational Views on Sex: Then and Now
Each generation has approached sex and intimacy differently. While past movements pushed for greater sexual freedom, today’s younger generations face new challenges as technology, social media, and economic stressors have reshaped how people navigate relationships and intimacy.
One key issue is the so-called "sexual recession," in which younger people are reportedly engaging in less sexual activity. Factors like financial instability and increased digital engagement contribute to this trend, highlighting the need for better, more relevant sexual education that addresses modern challenges.
The Power of Pleasure Activism and Reciprocity
Pleasure is a right, not a luxury. Activist and author Adrienne Maree Brown and others have championed the idea of "pleasure activism"—the belief that experiencing pleasure is a form of resistance against oppression and a path to personal empowerment.
Hargons echoes this sentiment, stressing that healthy relationships must prioritize reciprocity—and that sexual encounters should be built on mutual satisfaction, agency, and respect rather than outdated, one-sided dynamics.
Addressing Structural Inequities in Sex and Relationships
Many of the challenges in sexual relationships stem from larger societal inequities. For example, harmful narratives around male sexual entitlement reinforce imbalanced power dynamics. Books like Fair Play provide valuable strategies for creating more equitable relationships, both emotionally and sexually.
Another critical issue is healthcare inequity, particularly for women of color. Comprehensive sexual healthcare is essential for overall well-being, yet many marginalized communities lack access to the necessary resources. Addressing these disparities is a key part of the larger fight for sexual liberation.
Emotional Regulation and the Need for Better Sex Ed
A major barrier to healthy sexual relationships is the lack of emotional education. Understanding how to regulate emotions (especially big feelings), communicate needs, and set boundaries is just as important as learning about anatomy and reproduction.
Hargons argues that comprehensive sex education must include these emotional and relational components. This would not only improve individual experiences but also help combat larger trends like the sexual recession and the stigma surrounding open discussions about sex
Moving Forward: How to Support Sexual Liberation
To create a future where sexual liberation is the norm, we must take actionable steps:
- Educate and empower. Provide young people with better resources for understanding and navigating sex and relationships.
- Encourage micro-level change. Small, everyday actions—like fostering open conversations—help contribute to broader societal shifts.
- Research and advocacy. Continue studying relationship dynamics and fighting for inclusive policies.
- Prioritize activism and joy. Engaging in sexual liberation work should not only challenge injustice but also celebrate the joy and pleasure that come with equitable relationships.
Hargons’ work highlights the deep connection between sex, justice, and personal fulfillment. By challenging outdated sex scripts, advocating for intimate justice, and expanding sexual education, we can pave the way for a future in which everyone has the opportunity to experience fulfilling, equitable, and pleasurable relationships.
The conversation doesn’t end here: Let’s keep talking, learning, and pushing for a more liberated and just world.
References
Hargon, Candice Nicole (2025). Good sex: Science, stories, and strategies for sexual liberation. Row House Publishing.
Wise, N. (2020). Why good sex matters: Understanding the neuroscience of pleasure for a smarter, happier, and more purpose-filled life. Houghton Mifflin.
