7 Things That the Strongest Couples Know

As a therapist who has more than two decades of working with couples, I've witnessed firsthand the incredible resilience of love when nurtured with care and understanding.

Strong couples are able to grow together in the face of life’s inevitable ups and downs. They don’t just remain committed; they grow closer over time.

In my book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do, I share the unhealthy habits that strong couples avoid. It's essential to give up the things that damage your connection. On the flip side, it's also essential to adopt psychological principles and habits that will deepen your bond.

Here are seven things mentally strong couples know.

1. Emotional Intelligence Shapes Your World

One common trait among strong couples is high emotional intelligence. This involves being aware of your own emotions, understanding your partner's feelings, and managing both in a constructive way.

I've seen couples transform their relationships simply by practicing active listening—where you fully concentrate, understand, and validate your partner’s feelings.,

Try setting aside dedicated time each week to talk openly about your feelings without interruptions. It's a small change that can make a big difference.

2. Independence and Togetherness Is a Dance

Maintaining a balance between independence and togetherness is crucial. In therapy sessions, I often remind couples that while it's important to nurture your relationship, it's equally vital to retain your individual identities.

Strong couples understand the importance of pursuing personal interests and goals while supporting their partner's endeavors. Consider planning solo activities or hobbies and sharing your experiences with each other to enrich your bond.

3. Conflict Is a Catalyst for Growth

Conflict is inevitable, but it can actually be a powerful tool for growth if approached correctly. Mentally strong couples see disagreements not as threats but as opportunities to understand each other better and to improve their relationship.

Rupture and repair is part of the process. Sometimes, you need to rupture what isn’t working so you can repair it and become stronger than before.

There will be times when you hurt one another’s feelings, misunderstand each other, and disagree. Knowing how to cope with that conflict in a healthy way turns those disagreements into opportunities to strengthen the relationship.

4. Shared Goals Help You Grow Together

Shared goals and values provide a solid foundation for lasting love. During therapy, I encourage couples to regularly discuss and update their shared goals, whether they're related to family, finances, or personal growth.

These discussions not only align your paths but also strengthen your partnership as you work toward common objectives. Working as a team, cooperating, negotiating, and recovering from setbacks fortifies your bond.

5. Fun Is Essential

Never underestimate the power of playfulness in a relationship. Laughter and fun create lasting memories and help couples navigate the ups and downs of life.

Try to incorporate playful activities into your routine. Whether you enjoy spontaneous dance parties in your living room or play games together, these moments can reinforce your bond and remind you of the joy that brought you together in the first place.

6. A Culture of Appreciation Strengthens Your Bond

Strong couples cultivate a culture of appreciation. Expressing gratitude regularly can deepen your emotional connection and increase relationship satisfaction.

Make it a habit to acknowledge and thank your partner for the little things they do—as well as the big things. This simple act not only boosts your partner's mood but also fosters a positive atmosphere in your relationship.

Relationships Essential Reads

Heavy Lifting vs. Lack of Affection: Breaking the Loop

Don't Leave Your Social Connections to Chance

7. A Team Approach Fosters Resilience

Life is unpredictable, and strong couples demonstrate resilience by facing challenges together. Whether it's a career change, health issue, or any other life stressor, facing adversity as a team reinforces your partnership.

In therapy, I often suggest creating a "resilience toolkit"—a set of strategies you both agree on for handling tough times, like seeking professional help or setting aside time for self-care. It's easier to get through life's toughest times when you know your partner supports you.

Build Mental Strength

Strong relationships don't just happen by chance. They're built over time with intention. And every challenging time is an opportunity to learn and grow stronger.

If your partner isn't as invested in personal growth or in improving the relationship, don't give up. By working on yourself, you can create positive change. Your increased mental strength can change the dynamics of the relationship and help you to become a stronger couple, too.

Facebook image: anatoliy_gleb/Shutterstock