Bound Up and Breaking Free

Rose dreamed she was trapped by flowery branches covered with stinging bees but finally freed herself. The dream analysis revealed Rose’s feelings of being “tied up” in a life situation that she can’t escape from.

At the same time, her dream created an opportunity for her to practice pushing back and breaking free, offering the first steps on the path to a new stage of her life.

The Dream

“I barely slept last night,” Rose began. “I dreamt that my fingers were very tightly bound by these twig branches covered in purple-blueish flowers, and in between the branches were lots of tiny bees that kept stinging me. I couldn’t get the branches off by myself, and no one was helping me. Finally, I was able to get them off myself.”

The Conversation

Since I had worked with Rose before, I started by saying, "It might not surprise you that my first question is to inquire what situation might be stinging you recently. Whatever or whoever it is, it seems hard to get away from. Any ideas?"

Rose responded, "My situation with my parents is ongoing; they are both dealing with cancer. It’s been very upsetting and a difficult year. My mom’s last scan was a good one. Her cancer for now is not getting worse. My dad is in treatment now."

"I was thinking that maybe I dreamed about being bound by the branches because my hands are literally tied. I can’t do anything about certain things. I feel trapped or stuck. The stinging of the bees is the hurt I feel."

“At the end of the dream, I finally freed myself on my own. Maybe that means only I can help myself. I’m not sure what the blue and purple flowers signify. Or maybe I’m just taking all of these things too literally."

I observed, "It's true, in this situation your hands are tied! What power or control do we have over cancer? None really. So, I appreciate your ability to catch how your dream is a reflection of your waking circumstance."

"I especially appreciate how you are able to free yourself in the dream. It's an exercise, literally, in the art of separating yourself. Perhaps it's a rehearsal about ‘breaking away’ or, better said, giving yourself a break."

“What's the first few things that come to mind about blue and purple flowers? Do they bring a story or show to mind? Do you like the color blue or purple?”

Rose answered, “My favorite color is blue. Purple is different. That's not a usual color I would choose. It's different, but it's nice."

I added, "I'm also wondering if anything pops up for you about twigs. If I had never heard of twigs, how would you describe them to me?"

Rose said, “They're like thin brittle sticks. In my dream, they were tangled around my hands. It occurs to me that I'm all tangled up with my parents, who are also thin and brittle, and their situation really stings.”

I reflected, "The twigs are tangled around your hands. When age and time hit, our hands are tied. There's nothing we can do about it. We are powerless."

Rose, perhaps not realizing, spoke the answer. "I think I feel very stuck right now, too. I’m afraid to go anywhere too far from my parents because they need me so much now."

I echoed her, saying, "You're all tied up. Perhaps the solution is in you finding someone close, like a friend, with whom you can make a plan. Do you play games like mahjong or bridge? How about joining a book club?"

Rose admitted, "No, I don't play games, and I really haven’t been socializing much except with my kids."

I added, "How about a movie or lunch? But not alone. With a friend. Spend a little time away from family. I’m persisting because, in the dream, you describe flowers that are purple, which you say is new and different. It's hard, but in the dream, you do untangle yourself."

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Thinking further, she commented, "I did just inquire about joining a new local gym to get out of the house. It’s so expensive, though, and I have a gym in my house."

I exclaimed, “In a gym, not only do you change your setting, but you can connect with new people. Plus, the exercise helps you decompress from the stress of your parents’ situation and all the feelings that come along with that."

"It's both new and different! It may cost a little something, but it's not the same old sting—if you get what I mean!"

I wondered aloud, "What about taking a three-month membership?"

Rose responded, "I’m going to go look at it on Friday. They specialize with older women, so maybe I’ll meet some women my age."

What We Can Learn

Rose was facing a serious problem, not only with her parents’ health difficulties but with her own feelings of being trapped and powerless. She was afraid to leave her parents for any length of time and increasingly aware of the approaching stage in her life without her parents.

She had an idea to help her resolve the issue in part—joining the gym— but let it pass. Pushed to the back of her mind, it didn’t create enough force for her to act until her dream discussion brought her issues into the open.

Like Rose, we often bring our suppressed interior conversations to our dreams. When we analyze our dreams, we can bring the concerns to the outside, where we can see them, talk about them, get feedback, and, hopefully, move forward.

I am forever amazed by how we distract or ignore what’s in plain sight, and a dream can bring it all to light!