Tuning Into Your Body Can Reveal Untold Wisdom

The Case of Dave: When Values Conflict

My client, Dave, the founder of a software start-up, faced a dilemma: his company was badly in need of extra hires, but the pool that had applied was all male. Dave wanted to keep searching for female candidates, but he also feared that extending the process would slow the company’s growth and delay relieving his current engineers’ workload.

In our session, I guided Dave through an exercise to access what I like to call his “internal truth meter.” I instructed him to sit on one end of the couch, expressing why diversity mattered to him and the future of his company. As he did, he noticed a sense of ease in his body. Then, seated on the other side of the couch, he made the case for prioritizing finding someone quickly—during which he said he felt new tension emerging in his body.

I suggested Dave move to the center of the couch where he could synthesize the two perspectives: “Finding more female applicants is important because it will help build diversity into our culture’s foundation” versus “Finding more female applicants is not as high a priority as hiring help quickly.” After centering himself and taking a few deep breaths, Dave repeated each position out loud. Just as it was before, when he declared the first diversity statement, Dave noticed himself becoming more relaxed. In contrast, when he asserted the second statement, he noticed his breath becoming more labored, almost as if he were tensing for a fight.

Dave’s body was feeding him signals about which statement resonated more with his deepest values. Once he was able to listen to these cues, he had renewed clarity on the situation. He reaffirmed his determination to build a high-caliber, diverse team. In doing so, he would have a solid cultural foundation for his company’s future.

The Research: Integrity in Action

The word integrity comes from the Latin integer, meaning “complete and whole.” That seems quite fitting to me, as when our words and actions are congruent with our values (and our deepest, truest nature), we experience wholeness. Nearly all participants in my study on those with high spiritual intelligence spoke of how essential it is to tune into their inner voice. Below are a few of their comments:

• “If you listen to your inner self—inner guidance system, inner GPS, or inner BS meter, which is your God within—the truth is always there. Everybody has it. We just get into these habits of listening to the noise in the room. And when we wander off the path, we feel kind of ‘yucky.’”
• “If you read autobiographies of people who have done amazing things, they all feel called to do something, and whether it’s Dorothy Day or Jane Goodall or Nelson Mandela, there is some light within them that they tune into, that they nurture, and that they uphold to the world.”
• “To say what you mean, do what you say, and say what’s so when it’s so.”

Your Turn: Testing Your Truth

Take a moment to get centered, then try this exercise:

1. True statement: Look around you and state the color of the walls in your room. Notice the flow of your breath, the feelings of expansiveness versus contraction in your chest, and the overall sense of ease in your body.
2. False statement: Say an incorrect color. Again, observe your breath, chest, and general sense of tension versus ease.

Our bodies naturally relax and open when our words, thoughts, and actions align with our truth. What difference, if any, do you notice in your breath, energy, sense of open spaciousness, and underlying physical tension as you make a true versus a false statement?

Once you have tuned into this inner truth meter, try applying it to more complex situations. When facing a big decision:

1. Option A: Sit on one side of the couch and say one choice aloud ( I am ready to do A). Note your body’s response. List its advantages, if it helps.
2. Option B: Sit on the other side and state the alternative (I am ready to do B).
3. Synthesize: Sit in the middle and say each one more time.

Is your body drawn to one side or the other? Does one statement feel truer? How does your body respond to each? How attuned are you to your internal truth meter? Sometimes, neither choice feels right, and we need to spend more time finding new options or refining the ones we have.

Wisdom Essential Reads

Why Do I Suffer? Examining Self-Deception and Wisdom

6 Hidden Yearnings That Control Your Life

Integrity in Leadership: Walking the Talk

Research from Bain and Company and the Center for Creative Leadership places integrity at the top of their list of valued leadership qualities.[i][ii][iii] But SI’s integrity transcends business ethics—it’s about living in alignment with our deepest and truest nature.

As a native saying goes, "Truth can walk the world unarmed and unharmed." When we listen to our internal truth meter, we can lead and live with clarity and conviction, undefended from our deepest nature. Our bodies can open and relax as life flows through us—offering ease, peace, and confidence.

By following your inner compass, you can build a life, an environment, and a community that reflect your values. As Janis Joplin said, “Don’t compromise yourself, you’re all you’ve got.”