Feeling Our Way

Marriage

Can You Rate Your Marriage if You’re Bad at Marriage?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on April 4, 2024

The skills that improve your relationship are the same ones needed to evaluate it.

The skills that improve your relationship are the same ones needed to evaluate it.

Therapy

Does Your Therapist Wonder Why You Said What You Said?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on March 17, 2024

Good therapists are acutely attuned to their patients' reactions to what happens in therapy, and they explore those reactions together to keep the relationship on track.

Good therapists are acutely attuned to their patients' reactions to what happens in therapy, and they explore those reactions together to keep the relationship on track.

Therapy

Inside a Case of Couple's Therapy

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on December 4, 2023

Distinguishing a relationship both want from the patterns they typically veer into.

Distinguishing a relationship both want from the patterns they typically veer into.

Burnout

Burnout Among Therapists in Trying Times

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on November 8, 2023

It’s depressing to believe that the world is a bad place. Here are some healthier ways that therapists can respond instead.

It’s depressing to believe that the world is a bad place. Here are some healthier ways that therapists can respond instead.

Therapy

Should Your Therapist Look Like You?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on October 2, 2023

Explore the patient’s expectations of therapy to avoid a misalliance around how alike the patient and therapist are.

Explore the patient’s expectations of therapy to avoid a misalliance around how alike the patient and therapist are.

Therapy

Secondary Gains From Psychotherapy

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on September 2, 2023

Good therapy resolves psychological conflicts that interfere with productive living, and it does a lot of other good as well.

Good therapy resolves psychological conflicts that interfere with productive living, and it does a lot of other good as well.

Therapy

Is Your Therapist a Model of Certainty?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on August 1, 2023

Self-righteous therapists may claim either that they are right or that you are right without exploring the context or complexity of the issue.

Self-righteous therapists may claim either that they are right or that you are right without exploring the context or complexity of the issue.

Microaggression

A Theory for Marital Conflict

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on July 5, 2023

Therapy can help couples examine their unconscious putdowns and coordinate their personal narratives in a way that elevates both partners.

Therapy can help couples examine their unconscious putdowns and coordinate their personal narratives in a way that elevates both partners.

Mating

The Destructive Fantasy of Finding a Soulmate

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on June 12, 2023

The practices suppressed by searching for a soulmate are the cornerstones of relational satisfaction.

The practices suppressed by searching for a soulmate are the cornerstones of relational satisfaction.

Therapy

The Problems With Helicopter Therapists

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on May 22, 2023

The cure for coddling is not more coddling.

The cure for coddling is not more coddling.

Bias

Reasons Why Ageism Persists

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on April 3, 2023

Ageism responds partly to the way older people behave.

Ageism responds partly to the way older people behave.

Therapy

Are Therapeutic Affirmation and Validation Morally Good?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on March 13, 2023

A Personal Perspective: Therapists should value efficacy more than cheerleading.

A Personal Perspective: Therapists should value efficacy more than cheerleading.

Anger

8 Ideas for Managing Hatred

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on January 31, 2023

Society can be made better—the world can become more just—only if we acknowledge that hostility, rage, and hatred are a part of human nature.

Society can be made better—the world can become more just—only if we acknowledge that hostility, rage, and hatred are a part of human nature.

Anger

Social Road Rage and Cancel Culture

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on January 7, 2023

Distinguish hurt feelings from legal, economic, or physical harm.

Distinguish hurt feelings from legal, economic, or physical harm.

Sex

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on December 15, 2022

A Personal Perspective: The opposite of overeating to narcotize self-discontent is not dieting but tasting the food.

A Personal Perspective: The opposite of overeating to narcotize self-discontent is not dieting but tasting the food.

Relationships

Therapy as Gossip

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on November 21, 2022

Bad therapists believe (or disbelieve) what they hear; good therapists explore and understand its meaning and purpose.

Bad therapists believe (or disbelieve) what they hear; good therapists explore and understand its meaning and purpose.

Sex

Ageism Among Psychotherapists

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on October 10, 2022

A young therapist’s insistence that they are already an expert clinician may keep them from becoming one.

A young therapist’s insistence that they are already an expert clinician may keep them from becoming one.

Gaslighting

The Opposite of Gaslighting: It’s Not Validation

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on September 19, 2022

If you expect to be coddled or deferred to, then contradictions will feel nefarious.

If you expect to be coddled or deferred to, then contradictions will feel nefarious.

Relationships

Are You in Your Therapist’s Dunbar Number?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on August 29, 2022

Personal perspective: Are therapists teaching clients how to fake meaningfulness or how to cultivate it?

Personal perspective: Are therapists teaching clients how to fake meaningfulness or how to cultivate it?

Identity

Do DEI Guidelines Conflict With Clinical Theory?

Michael Karson Ph.D., J.D. on July 11, 2022

A Personal Perspective: We’re not who we thought we were.

A Personal Perspective: We’re not who we thought we were.