Can a Brand Be Your Friend?

I still remember the day I bought my first Kipling bag. Its blue leopard dots stood out against the sea of neutral options, and its practical compartments promised to bring order to my chaotic life. Fifteen years later, it doesn’t look as new, but I can’t seem to part with it. That bag has lived with me in four countries, it crossed continents as we traveled the world together, endured rainy commutes, and held the artifacts of countless memories. It’s more than just a bag; it feels like a companion.

This might sound sentimental, but it’s not uncommon. Think about the intense loyalty of Apple enthusiasts who wouldn’t dream of switching to Android—or vice versa. It’s almost tribal. Can we really form attachments to brands in ways similar to the bonds we share with humans?

Remarkably, the answer is yes.

Marketing theory reveals something even more surprising—and perhaps unsettling: Not only can we form emotional attachments to brands, but in some cases, we can also develop dependence on them. Consider how some brands position themselves as indispensable, becoming deeply embedded in our daily routines. This isn’t accidental; we often rely on brands for a sense of identity, security, or comfort—and marketers know this well.

The good news is that understanding how and why we form these attachments can empower us as consumers. Research in consumer-brand relationships famously began with Susan Fournier’s foundational work, which introduced the idea that brands can act as relationship partners. Some relationships resemble close friendships, while others are more transactional, akin to acquaintances. Just as with humans, we can evaluate brands based on the dimensions of warmth and competence — traits we associate with human interaction — to decide whether we want to deepen these connections.

Just as with humans, our relationships with brands are guided by rules and norms, which shape how we assess them. For instance, communal relationships mirror those we have with family or friends, built on trust and care, while exchange-based relationships are more transactional, driven by a quid-pro-quo mindset. Think about this: Doesn't it explain why we might feel differently about a local coffee shop that knows our name versus a large, impersonal chain?

We also apply these rules and norms differently across relationships, even being “polygamous” in our brand loyalties when we pledge our hearts to multiple brands in the same category. (Don't get me started on my niche perfume collection.) While marketers chase the elusive ideal of customer loyalty like the mythical unicorn, brand relationships are far from one-size-fits-all. Some people seek closer, trust-based relationships with brands, while others prefer more independent, flexible ones. For example, you’d want your bank to act in your best interest—but you wouldn’t want it checking on you every day and incessantly proposing new services, right?

So, can a brand truly be your friend? Perhaps the answer lies not in the brand itself but in how it meets your emotional and practical needs. Research shows that even in commercial friendships, the transactional element still dominates. Ultimately, this "friendship" is what you make of it.

As for me and my Kipling bag, we’re sticking together—for now. Even though I might not bring it to work or fancy occasions anymore, like any good relationship, it’s earned its place in my life. And maybe that’s the lesson here: Just as with people, the most meaningful connections with brands are the ones that feel genuine and enriching.