Proxemics, or personal space, is the distance people are comfortable putting between themselves and others. While this distance varies from person to person, North Americans prefer an average of 18 inches between themselves and someone else during a casual conversation.
The study of personal space is a subsection of nonverbal communication and interpersonal behavior, and it’s one of the hardest topics to study because a range of factors determine how much personal space an individual needs.
What Are the Different Types of Personal Space?
People tend to keep four categories of proxemic distance. The space for our closest relationships is 0 to 18 inches apart; personal space for family and friends is 18 inches to 4 feet apart; social space for casual and professional relationships is 4 to 10 feet apart; and public space for strangers is over 10 feet. (Many people might even argue that the six-foot social-distancing requirement of the COVID-19 pandemic is an additional proxemic.)
This is generally called the "personal space bubble." At this range of 18 inches to 4 feet, we are close but not that close; we can reach over and pat the other person’s back. This space is known as friendly but not intimate. We are in this space when we must speak privately with another person, and the outer limit of this zone is acceptable in close business relationships.
Our romantic partners, family members, and closest friends are allowed within this space of 0-18 inches. Familiar touch is also part of this proximity; the space is close enough to whisper in a person’s ear and smell their scent. We become extremely uncomfortable when people outside our inner circle breach this space.
Casual acquaintances and most professional interactions remain within the 4-10 foot boundary. We can’t touch others at this distance, and it is a safe gap to conduct more formal exchanges. The small classroom setting is a good example of a 4-to-10-foot social space, where students are close enough to get to know their teachers.
Shopping malls, city sidewalks, and airports use this distance requirement in planning. This range is also used in public speaking, which gives formality to the communication. This type of space does not require eye contact or any personal contact whatsoever.
Understanding Proxemics
When determining how much space an individual needs, the chosen distance is intentional, based on factors like prior experience, cultural background, and the kind of relationship they have with another person. For example, an individual might be comfortable being extremely close to a romantic partner but may lean away when a work colleague gets too close. Attention to boundaries can help provide clues about a person’s personal preference for distance.
In the late 1950s and early '60s, anthropologist Edward T. Hall developed the theory of proxemics. While serving in the U.S. Army, Hall observed the distance people kept between each other. He found that different cultures perceive personal space differently. The British need a lot of space, while Middle Eastern folks are often comfortable in closer spaces.
The term social distancing was added in 2020 to dictionaries such as Merriam-Webster and Oxford English. This practice of maintaining a physical distance of six feet or more from other people during an outbreak of contagious disease has a long history. In the 14th century during the Black Death, ships that arrived in Venice had to remain quarantined off the shores to reduce the transmission of infection. This may be the earliest record of such a measure; however, as noted in the Bible, people with leprosy were evicted from villages.
Different cultures see personal space differently. The late Canadian psychologist Sidney Jourard conducted well-known research, called the coffee study, in the U.S., France, the UK, and Puerto Rico. He watched people in cafes and recorded the rate at which people touched each other during a one-hour sitting. Puerto Ricans touched 180 times, the French 110, the British 0, and the Americans touched twice.
When getting to know a person, there are unspoken rules. Sitting or standing too close to a new date may be off-putting; some people need more personal space than others. You have to gauge the other person's receptiveness: Do you think they are welcoming or ambiguous about seeing you again? If you feel the person is open and interested in you, sitting a little closer—but not too close—may be acceptable.
No. Kinesics is the study of gestures and body movements that telegraph nonverbal communication. According to former FBI counterintelligence agent Joe Navarro, the limbic brain processes internal experiences—feelings, thoughts, and intentions—and expresses them through body language. You can even watch a person’s body and decipher what they are up to.
