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Dear all, my father is a chronic complainer and I was dumbfounded when I read this article, it is SO spot on!
Following my dad's example, I was also a complainer, BUT I CHANGED! I decided it was enough. As the article says, this is ingrained in your identity, it is DEEP. So serious measures are necessary. The way to salvation can be found in the psychology classic Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.
Seriously, if you read only one book in your life let it be that one! It will cost you less than $10 and will change your life, or at least, teach you how you can change your life and every single part of your identity! Powerful stuff in there.
Another thing I can recommend is to get some leverage on yourself by saying that you will not complain or say anything negative for 10 days in a row. For every time you DO complain, you put $5 in an envelope and leave it in a public place AND you will have to start your 10 day period all over again until you finish it. Was a great motivator for me!
I would just really like to read how to help someone to become a more positive person. I helped myself, but I feel hopeless towards my dad. He seems to get some perverse form of satisfaction from complaining and misfortune.. The article suggests you reply with sympathy, but that means that I will have to engage in complaining as well!! This goes against my own new positive nature. My current strategy is to either give no reaction whatsoever or give my real opinion (which is always about the more positive sides of the issue at hand), even though I know this will not help or have any effect.
He first needs to SEE that he complains a lot and then has to understand that he can change that! It is killing me to see my dad waste his life watching TV and complaining about how everyone and everything is against him.. it is also affecting the rest of our family. And it is a shame, because often times he is very happy and funny.
A great quote to finish this essay off:
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou
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