For example, my wife met me at 28 and I had my own house, was good at sports(helped popularity) and school(helped job). However I killed myself in work, sports, school to get that and many underestimate the effort to maintain it and there has been resentment at times at for my compulsive behavior and have to explain that even though we met at 28 I was a dogged worker from my teens on and the attributes she liked (I guess) would have deteriorated if I had not continued the efforts which may be not a dedicated or attentive husband as she would have liked