This article is spot on, just like another one from the same author on narcissists being nasty on their partners/spouses. From first hand experience I am still shocked at how my ex gf would both 'admire' me and 'pull me down' - at the same time or at different times. For people who have not encountered this type of personality, it's difficult to grasp how two conficting traits can co-habit within the same person. This is the very nature of narcissism: it is a conflict within the person. And it makes life hell for romantic partners. For example, my ex would display sudden affection for me in public, especially when there were other females around or if I was somehow in the spotlight. But as soon as we would enter our own main door the mask went off, and her sour (real) face would come on. Then all the complaints, murmuring and toxic comments about others or me would follow. What the hell happened to the public display of affection? It was just that: only for the eyes of others. For me it was so toxic because I prefer the opposite traits in a woman: no public shows but intimate connection. Which she - or any narcissistic person - cannot give. After many years this and other horrible traits become unbearable. The main conclusion: run fast if you notice your partner / potential partner displays signs of narcissism. Walk and don't look back. It's hard but doable. It took me a while but I broke it off in the end. I found articles like this helpful as they reinforce an objective look at our situation which we are not able to have when under the clutches of a narc.