Hi Lesia,

Please don't kill yourself! You are not to blame for your illness and the idea that many of us grew up with that bad things that happen to us are our punishment for being bad ourselves is poppycock. It is just the nature of life that we get sick, we get old and we die. Though the order of this and the timing varies from person to person, each of these things will happen to everyone eventually. I read you have a baby! How wonderful! I too had a baby when I first got sick as well as two older children. I couldn't take care of them at all but what I could do was listen to them as they got older--about their days, their problems, their accomplishments and their joys! Their lives would have been much worse had I bailed out. On top of losing their Mom, they would have no doubt wondered if there was something wrong with them that I would voluntarily leave them. Now I have three wonderful adult children who come to visit, call, share holidays and bring joy to me. Plus a grandson whom I love and who loves me dearly! Am I still sick? Yes, for over thirty years now. Do I like it? No. But I've finally reached the place of acceptance and peace. And I hope you will too!

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