Does Your Therapist Have a Therapist?

Source: Photo by Nik Shuliahin, Unsplash

Ever wonder if your therapist has a therapist? It’s a good question. After all, therapists spend their working days in the company of people wrestling with significant life challenges and conditions such as intense anxiety, depression, loss, or trauma.

Doesn’t that have an impact on therapists’ mental health?

Therapists’ Private Lives

Therapists aren’t superhuman; they get overwhelmed, sick, or suffer burnout. They may have personal challenges in health or finances or a family member with mental illness, addiction, or developmental difficulties. And during the Covid-19 pandemic, therapists were swamped with new patients at a time when therapists themselves had to endure the pandemic crisis.

Additionally, therapists are exposed to powerful feelings, such as hurt, rage, despair, or grief. Remember, strong emotions are often contagious; in other words, therapists risk absorbing or internalizing their patients' emotions or may feel triggered by their patients’ histories. Such vivid reactions may make it difficult for therapists to work effectively.

Given these challenges, you may wonder, “What makes someone want to become a therapist?”

Becoming a Therapist

Perhaps the most common reason people decide to become therapists is that they had a positive experience in therapy themselves. They overcame hardships, resolved struggles with anxiety or depression, and celebrated growth in their own lives.

Thirty-five years ago, I had my first therapy appointment. At the time, I didn’t understand why I felt so depressed or overwhelmed by the slightest setback. I had no language to understand or process my feelings. I felt defeated by life.

At a friend’s urging, I made an appointment and began my journey in therapy. My therapist was a kind older man who agreed to see me for a low fee that I could afford.

I didn’t understand how therapy worked, but I knew, session after session, that I was feeling better and that my attitude toward life was improving.

Years later, that wonderful experience convinced me to pursue a career in psychotherapy. (See "Five Signs You'd Be A Great Therapist")

Emotional Dynamics in Therapy

Why do therapists spend so much time understanding themselves? Because therapy sessions are frequently emotional rollercoaster rides. When therapists understand their history and feelings, they have a safety belt on that rollercoaster and are able to stay focused in sessions.

To further illustrate, three powerful emotional dynamics occur in therapy sessions:

1. Transference

Transference refers to the patient’s feelings toward the therapist. These feelings most commonly spring from a patient’s history. For example, a person with a history of emotional abuse or neglect will have trouble trusting the therapist. Or a person who had a traumatic childhood will keep the therapist at a distance or appear cold or detached. Transference feelings in session are often projections from patients' histories. They “transfer” their feelings from past relationships onto present relationships.

2. Objective Countertransference

Objective countertransference refers to the therapist's feelings toward the patient based on the therapist’s response to the patient’s transference. If a patient doesn’t trust the therapist, a poorly trained or new therapist may take it personally and convince the patient to trust them. This frequently backfires and escalates resistance to trust. A well-trained therapist will recognize those feelings as countertransference and respect and explore them.

Transference Essential Reads

On Being a Therapist: The Good, Bad, and the Ugly

What Our Needs and Relationships Tell Us About Ourselves

3. Subjective Countertransference

Like objective countertransference, subjective countertransference also refers to the therapist's feelings toward the patient. But those particular feelings spring from the therapist’s personal history. For example, if the therapist has a childhood history of abuse, an abusive patient may trigger the therapist’s trauma. The therapist may be afraid of the patient. If the therapist is unaware of the subjective countertransference, they may act out old patterns. Consequently, they may find a way to stop working with the patient or avoid confronting them out of fear of retaliation.

Navigating Feelings in Individual Therapy Sessions

In individual sessions, therapists navigate the three levels of feelings - transference, countertransference, and subjective transference - by constantly processing and analyzing their feelings.

“Where is this feeling coming from? Is it the patient’s transference? Or is it my subjective or objective countertransference?”

Navigating Feelings in Group Therapy Sessions

Group therapists manage multiple transferences. In group sessions, therapists experience the three levels of feelings–transference, countertransference, and subjective transference–from each group member. Additionally, group members have transference toward each other, sometimes called “cross-transferences.”

And finally, the group members have a transference to the group as a whole, which may represent their early family experience or societal experience. For instance, issues of race or ethnicity significantly affect transference to the group as a whole. A person of color may not feel safe in a group dominated by caucasian people. (See "Three Reason Group Therapy Is Better To Individual Therapy")

Sounds complicated? It is. In a twelve-member therapy group, over one hundred transferences are happening simultaneously.

By now, you may realize how challenging it can be for therapists to work with patients' feelings. The therapist’s ability to analyze, process, and understand these emotions is key to avoiding burnout and providing effective therapy.

Does your therapist have a therapist?

Here’s a shocking reality; therapists are not required to participate in their therapy. They are required to be supervised and trained. And while post-grad psychoanalytic institutes require personal therapy, grad school programs do not. It is possible to become a licensed therapist without ever being in therapy.

The best therapists I know constantly participate in their therapy, not because it’s required but because it is essential to building mastery. They know their treatment enriches their lives and empowers their work with patients. Ultimately, understanding yourself is the gateway to understanding others.

To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.