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I’m obsessed with mothers. That’s why I started a project (that later blossomed into a nonprofit) called Gay Sons and Mothers, in which I chronicle how a mom’s acceptance of her gay son impacts his overall well-being. I’ve observed how mothers intuitively know what to do in accepting their gay sons—whether they realize it or not—and how a lack of acceptance can impact sons in devastating ways.
One amazing mother many of us remember from back in 2018 is Kelly Rippon, the mother of Adam Rippon, the first openly gay athlete to medal in the Winter Olympics. Not only did we rejoice in watching him skate while rooting for him to win, we were also touched by his sense of humor and overall freedom in being himself. My generation learned the need to squelch these parts of ourselves—unlike Adam, who is comfortable in unabashedly flaunting himself. How refreshing. Adam experiences a level of comfort we all wish we’d had.
My assumption is that not only was Adam born comfortable, he was also raised well. Any gay young man that uninhibited has most likely been accepted by his family. During and after the Olympics, he frequently quoted, filmed, and referenced his mother in funny ways, but more importantly with heartfelt gratitude. He credits her for many life lessons she’s shared; with age, he’s realized how much and how deeply her parenting impacted and influenced him. This mirrors my findings in “gay sons and mothers” interviews.
I decided Kelly Rippon was a mother I wanted to meet. Her story could inspire so many mothers and sons out there. Time and time again I’ve seen how mothers are reassured by hearing from accepting moms. When my dream of chatting with her came true, we discussed life, family, children, and specifically raising LGBTQ+ children. Our hour-long conversation barely covered everything we could have discussed. The good news is we’re continuing our conversation: I’m offering it as a live event through Gay Sons and Mothers on January 14 at 7pm ET. (Register here for free.)
Kelly Rippon just released a book titled Parent Up, and her tagline summarizes it nicely: “inspire your child to be their best self.” If all mothers can be inspired to encourage their kids in the healthiest of ways, she believes, more kids will thrive in the world, regardless of their gender and/or age. She asserts that the effects of this mothering lasts a lifetime and that children grow up to make important contributions in the world—another finding echoed in my own research.
As I read Kelly’s book, I found myself getting emotional. She defines the kind of parenting that every child deserves, and she emphasizes the importance of choosing words carefully to be a good mother, because she knows these messages are essential. She brings her own experiences into her definitions of good parenting and creates a context for parents to influence their children in the healthiest of ways. Why was I emotional? Because she explains, defines, and exemplifies the important aspects of mothering I keep finding in my research—and creates strategies for implementing them.
I was fortunate to receive this kind of acceptance from my mother. So was Kelly’s son Adam, and so are many other gay sons whose mothers went to bat for them, accepting them even when others in their community may not have. Sometimes the mothers hadn’t even realized that they were affirming; they were just being good moms.
If the words optimism, empathy, and confidence speak to you, then you will enjoy hearing from her—and you may become emotional as well, because they epitomize her work. Imagine the impact of just one mother getting some bit of inspiration from hearing Kelly, and imagine just one child appreciating how his mother nurtured him in order for him to be his best self. The world will change and the acceptance of LGBTQ+ youth will continue to grow.
Recognizing that gay boys who receive good parenting from their moms and then have the ability to flourish is the focus of Gay Sons and Mothers, the nonprofit I founded and serve as executive director. Our mission is to share this kind of inspiration with as wide an audience as possible. Now imagine that just one person who appreciates this thinking shares it with one family member or close friend. So much progress can be made and continue to be shared.
If you would like to hear more, consider buying Kelly's book or attending our free live event.
“A parent has the greatest opportunity to have the most significant influence in their child’s life.” —Kelly Rippon
