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Key points
- Some surveys find that nearly 40 percent of people report masturbating in the workplace.
- Potential benefits of workplace masturbation include stress reduction, mood enhancement, and increased concentration.
- Costs to workplace masturbation include termination and possible accusation of criminal sexual misconduct.
- Scientific research is lacking in understanding the dynamics and attitudes surrounding masturbating at work.
Ted locks his office door and draws the shades on his window. Kate checks for shoes under each bathroom stall before entering the one furthest away from the public restroom entrance. Both of these individuals are preparing to masturbate at work.
Masturbating in the workplace is not an uncommon occurrence. The act has even found its way into mainstream popular culture. In the film “The Wolf of Wall Street,” Matthew McConaughey instructs his new employee (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) to do it at work as many times as needed to keep from imploding in the high-stress world of stockbroker culture.
How many people are masturbating while on the clock? In a survey conducted by Time Out New York, 39 percent of respondents reported having masturbated at their place of work. During the COVID-19 lockdown, an online retailer, Yellow Octopus, surveyed 1,000 people from the U.S., Australia, UK, and Canada about their masturbatory habits while working from home. In that survey, 35 percent of men and 17 percent of women acknowledged that they masturbated while working remotely. One respondent was quoted as saying, “[It’s] like I get paid to masturbate.”
(One must bear in mind that, first, these are non-scientific surveys and, second, that there is often underreporting in surveys such as these. Even when the survey is designed for anonymous responses, some people still will not admit to sexual behaviors that they engage in.)
In my own research, several participants have included stories about masturbating at work in their sexual narratives. One female respondent claimed to masturbate in the public bathroom at her work regularly 2-3 times per eight-hour shift. She said it gave her a “moment of peace in an otherwise aggravating work environment.” Following the time to herself, she claims to have a better attitude around her co-workers and feels less tense in the stress-fueled culture of her workplace—at least for a little while.
The benefits of masturbating have been well established in many studies, but scientific research on masturbating at the workplace is practically non-existent. Nevertheless, one can hypothesize that many of the established physical benefits of masturbating are transferable to high tension environments like the workplace. Masturbating increases dopamine and endorphins that provide reward and stress relief. At the workplace, a masturbation break may provide momentary relaxation, increase concentration, enhance mood, aid in stress reduction, and release tension. In fact, in an interview with Metro, senior lecturer in psychology at Nottingham Trent University, Mark Sergeant, suggested that a worker can be more effective and less stressed at work if they were given time to masturbate at work—it could replace the cigarette break. And Sergeant is not alone, other psychologists have made the same suggestion.
There are, of course, costs to masturbating at work, discovery being the primary one. While this would likely lead to immense embarrassment, that's far from the only possible cost. There is the issue of being accused of sexual misconduct. To cite a recent example, writer and legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin was suspended from CNN and fired from his post at the New Yorker last November for masturbating during a staff Zoom call. Toobin says he believed his video was turned off and muted. Still, the incident fell under sexual misconduct and carried ramifications.
While masturbation itself is not illegal, depending on the situation, it could be viewed as indecent exposure or fall under the heading of “hostile work environment harassment,” based on unwanted sexual conduct. In either case, there could be legal proceedings beyond termination. Furthermore, the act can easily become a job blocker.
Psychotherapist, Ian Kerner, Ph.D., notes that people need to respect workplace structures and create boundaries, but acknowledges the benefits some people get from masturbating at work. “Masturbation is healthy. Masturbation is typical, normal, and people masturbate for very different reasons: sometimes to relax, sometimes to experience pleasure, sometimes to enjoy a fantasy, and sometimes to relieve anxiety or self-medicate against some kind of difficult mood or emotion.” Kerner continues, “Very often, in my experience, when men masturbate in the workplace, it’s because masturbation has become a pretty substantial coping mechanism. That’s why I have a lot of male patients who will masturbate in the workplace. They feel a lot of stress and they’re in an activated, stressful, anxious place and they’re not fully thinking, and the next thing they’re in the bathroom masturbating.”
People are masturbating at work. But, it’s not something people talk about. Masturbation, in and of itself, is still a fairly taboo topic, despite the fact that most people masturbate. Masturbating at work is even more of a taboo topic of discussion. Scientific research does not seem to have truly explored workplace masturbation. Research is needed to understand the dynamics, patterns, and attitudes surrounding these personal breaks in the workday.
