5 Reasons to Consider Not Having Another Child

The desire to procreate is hard-wired in our brains as a means of keeping ourselves and our species alive—after all, who is going to take care of us when we are older? But is there a downside to having multiple children?

Maybe.

1. Younger and older parents may experience more stress than those falling in the average range.

A Danish study examined 805 parents of children who were and were not known to have behavior problems and their level of stress. They found that one of the determining factors in predicting the parents' level of stress—in addition to whether their children had behavior problems—was the age of the parents. Both younger (under age 20) and presumably more inexperienced parents reported high levels of stress, as did older parents (over age 40).

It seems as if experience and age both affect discipline and childrearing, which factor into the ability to raise children—and parents—who are happy.

2. Women's happiness in a marriage may depend on having fewer kids, but with men, the relationship isn't as strong.

A 2021 study by Kowal et al. surveyed 7,200 married individuals from 33 countries and found that the more children a couple has, the less satisfied they are in their marriage. For women, the connection between a happy marriage and fewer children was striking, although for men this connection was not as impressive.

3. People who are not religious and have more than two children are more likely to be unhappy in their marriage.

The same 2021 study suggests that religion also plays a part in marital satisfaction and the number of children you have. People who are less religious (as indicated by self-report) with greater amounts of children are likely to be more unhappy in their marriage. It seems that religion affects our view of what the experience of marriage and children should be like. For example, in some religions, a sort of greater good for the greater number of people perspective of having children might be in effect. Sacrificing yourself for the sake of increasing the number of people in your "tribe," so to speak, may moderate the burden of having multiple children.

In this study, marital satisfaction, number of children, and level of happiness were not related to financial issues.

Source: Antoni Shkraba / Pexels

4. More children can lead to less interaction between partners.

One study by White, Booth, and Edwards in 1986 found that the more children in a relationship, the lower the small, significant interactions between Mom and Dad.

What does this mean?

Fewer seemingly unimportant daily interactions are more likely to lead to dissatisfaction and financial strain. This often results in a more traditional division of labor—meaning that the female in heterosexual relationships is assigned more of the childrearing role.

Less time together can result in a less happy marriage.

5. Marital happiness depends on the happiness of your children.

A study by Ijeaoma et al. (2016) examined the relationship between 200 children and their parents to identify the relationship between the number of children in the family and the type of parenting style most frequently used. Parents with more children were more likely to use harsher parenting styles, a finding that was backed up by previous studies.

Interestingly, harsher parenting styles were negatively associated with marital happiness.

What does this mean? More punitive parenting makes both parents and children unhappy.

Conclusion

There are many reasons to have another child, and, according to research, there are just as many reasons not to. It is up to you to choose what is best for you.