Humility as a Psychological Task for Leaders

Source: Christina Wocintechchat / Unsplash

Humility receives very little contemporary acclaim, especially in politics, business, and industry. There are two reasons for this. The first is that there’s confusion about its nature. The second is that we live in a culture that is extremely externally referenced.

A New Look at Humility

Most cultures and religions define humility as a virtue. As such, it has humility just a bit out of reach for everyday living. Several unfortunate consequences result. Most people simply don’t want to be that holy, especially if it means being excessively modest. That kind of modesty is viewed as a denial of strengths and talents. Such denial simply does not lend itself to robust leadership. The other distortion of humility as a virtue is the implication that it will issue endless attempts at piety, which is sure to make “Jack a dull lad.” One option is to understand humility as a psychological task that can invigorate and bring leaders closer to themselves.

Humility as a Psychological Task

The task of humility involves the acquisition of several skills.

1. Gaining comfort with one's limits. Understanding and accepting limitations allows leaders to be clear about their strengths and how they are best employed. It also means that leaders can identify who possesses the skills and knowledge that they lack and maximize the use of external resources.
2. An increased acceptance of their imperfection. This competency needs the support of letting go of shame and aggrandized expectations of achievement. Shame defines leaders as damaged goods, condemning them to copious efforts of compensating for their alleged shortcomings. Meanwhile, exaggerated expectations of achievements have them caught in striving for perfection.
3. Radical accountability. Before leaders can get right with themselves, they need to learn to be accountable. One expression of accountability is acknowledging their mistakes and not blaming others. Another form of accountability is gratitude for all the support they received from their ancestors, family, friends, teachers, colleagues, and mentors. This is a realistic account of their successes and is quite humble.
4. A heartfelt commitment to be rightsized. Leaders need to remain watchful of propensities to be larger than they are or to slip into being small. Leaders run the risk of inflating themselves in order to meet the evolving demands and expectations of the roles they play. They may also get undersized in order to avoid being scrutinized. Leaders don’t arrive at being rightsized. They humbly make corrections to move toward being rightsized, which is a measure of their competencies, their shortcomings, and the true nature of their achievements.
5. A capacity to appreciate and acknowledge the strengths and accomplishments of others. When leaders are right with themselves, they are able to recognize the value others bring, without diminishing themselves. This is a humility-building skill.

The Unfavorable Impact of Being Externally Referenced

In a highly extroverted society, almost anything of value happens externally between people. Hence, loyalty, trust, authority, and feeling valued happen because of something we are doing in the world. Humility is not essentially something we do in the world, although it does have a worldly impact, such as in appreciating the strengths of others. Humility mostly happens internally, in how we relate to ourselves, and hence, is not deemed important. Humility is discounted because it doesn’t happen in the coveted external world.

Reframing Roles

Roles are positions, or places in the world where certain functions are performed. The origin of the word role is “roll," or the piece of paper upon which are written the lines to be performed by an actor. Too often, leaders are simply reading their lines and performing the expectations of their Boards. When this happens, the leader is attempting to primarily be a leader — their role — and not also a person. I have met professionals who primarily take on their professional identity, leaving their personhood behind.

The first step in reframing roles is to become more internally referenced.

As this happens, leaders see the value of becoming more honest about who they are and accepting of who they are.

Self-trust increases as leaders allow themselves to know their own truth about themselves and the world. They also treat themselves more kindly.

Self-loyalty is also strengthened. There is an allegiance to their values and heart’s desire, which offers a reference point for acknowledging self-betrayal.

And there is a deepened sense of self-authority as leaders take responsibility to create themselves via their personal visions and assist others to do so.

Benefits

As leaders redefine humility as psychological and move into being more internally referenced, several benefits can be realized.

• Rather than anchoring personal worth in achievement, leaders can access a capacity to offer inclusivity, empathy, and inspiration.
• Leaders begin to experience a refined sense of security as their limits and mistakes are welcome.
• Leaders experience a deepened sense of being trustworthy as their Reports neither expect to be dominated nor have to face a barrage of defensive maneuvers on behalf of the leader.
• Humility allows leaders to be less competitive with colleagues and more able to acknowledge and appreciate their strengths.
• As humble leaders are honest and define themselves as okay with their shortcomings, their cultures take on more psychological safety.

A business culture that values humility sheds any attachment to pretense. A desire to look good is replaced by authenticity. Fear is replaced by a boldness that honors risk-taking, and secrets are replaced by open disclosure.