The Purpose-Happiness Connection

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What if the key to happiness isn’t what we’ve been told?

For decades, we've heard that finding a deep sense of purpose in life is essential to happiness. Research supports this—having a sense of purpose has been linked to better health, increased longevity, and higher overall well-being. And, yet, one of the most robust studies on happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has tracked participants for more than 80 years, found that the single strongest predictor of happiness isn’t purpose at all—it’s relationships.

This seems like a contradiction: If purpose leads to happiness, but relationships are actually the most significant factor, then how do we reconcile these findings? The answer, I believe, lies in redefining purpose—not as a grand, overarching life mission but as something much more accessible and practical.

"Little-p" Purpose: A Conduit for Connection

Most people think of purpose as a singular, all-encompassing life mission—what we might call "Big-P" Purpose—but, in reality, a different kind of purpose, "Little-p" purpose, is what fuels happiness. Little-p purpose is process-oriented. It’s the daily activities, passions, and interests that light us up—not because they serve some grand existential goal but simply because they bring us joy and fulfillment in the moment.

And here’s the secret: Little-p purpose naturally leads to deeper interpersonal connections.

When we engage in activities that truly excite us, we show up as our best, most energized selves. People are drawn to that. When we’re engaged in something meaningful—whether it's painting, writing, teaching, or even discussing personal finance—we attract others who share those interests. These shared passions create communities. They build relationships. And, ultimately, they lead to happiness.

A Personal Journey: From Burnout to Belonging

I’ve lived this firsthand. As a doctor, I didn’t feel a strong sense of purpose in my work. Medicine is undeniably important, but I wasn’t engaged in it in a way that fostered a sense of belonging. I showed up, did my job, and went home. I wasn’t part of a thriving doctor community or involved in healthcare advocacy. I didn’t feel particularly connected to the profession or to the people in it.

Then something unexpected happened. I discovered personal finance and started blogging and podcasting about it. This was something that lit me up, a perfect example of little-p purpose. I didn’t start writing because I wanted to change the world or build a legacy—I just enjoyed it. But as I followed this passion, something profound occurred:

• People reached out. Readers emailed me, listeners engaged with my podcasts, and other finance enthusiasts wanted to collaborate.
• A community formed. I connected with like-minded individuals, and these relationships became a source of deep joy.
• I showed up as my best self. Talking about personal finance brought out my energy, creativity, and authenticity, which naturally attracted others.

Years later, I now spend far less time practicing medicine and much more time writing, speaking, and podcasting. And the biggest shift? I’m significantly happier. I feel more connected to the people around me than ever before. I wake up excited about my work, not because I’ve found some grand, singular life purpose, but because I engage in activities that bring me joy—and in doing so, I’ve built meaningful relationships.

The Science Behind Purpose and Happiness

The research supports this idea. Purpose does contribute to well-being but not necessarily in the way we think. One study published in JAMA Network Open found that having a sense of purpose was linked to lower mortality rates in older adults. Another study in Psychological Science suggested that people with a strong sense of purpose experience better physical health outcomes and lower stress levels.

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But what often gets overlooked is why purpose has these effects. When we engage in purposeful activities, we aren’t just “finding meaning” in an abstract sense—we’re connecting. Purposeful people tend to have stronger social networks, more engagement in their communities, and more fulfilling interpersonal relationships—the very things that the Harvard Study found to be the foundation of happiness.

The Real Takeaway: Focus on Process, Not Just Purpose

Many people struggle to “find their purpose” because they’re looking for a Big-P Purpose—some singular, grand mission that defines their life. But that’s not how purpose (or happiness) actually works. Instead, we should focus on little-p purpose—the small, daily pursuits that energize us.

• Love painting? Join an art group.
• Passionate about fitness? Start working out with others.
• Fascinated by a niche topic? Write about it, talk about it, and connect with others who care about it, too.

The key is to follow the things that naturally excite you, not because you expect them to lead to some big revelation but because they create opportunities for connection. And that, in the end, is what truly drives happiness.

Final Thoughts

The happiest people aren’t necessarily those who have figured out their grand purpose in life. They are the ones who have found meaningful ways to connect with others through activities that bring them joy. Purpose is important, but not because it is the goal itself—it’s the bridge to relationships, and relationships are what make life fulfilling.

So, instead of asking, “What’s my purpose?” perhaps a better question is this:

“What lights me up?”

Follow that. The rest will take care of itself.