The Psychology of Relationships and Emotional Intelligence

Relationships

Money as a Substitute for Love and Closeness

Boris Herzberg on May 26, 2026

The hidden meaning of money fights: What looks like a budget battle is often a cry for connection, security, and worth.

The hidden meaning of money fights: What looks like a budget battle is often a cry for connection, security, and worth.

Motivated Reasoning

The Psychology of Mercury Retrograde

Boris Herzberg on May 13, 2026

What does cognitive psychology make of sensitivity to Mercury retrograde? Let's explore the catastrophisation of everyday glitches and when stars are to blame.

What does cognitive psychology make of sensitivity to Mercury retrograde? Let's explore the catastrophisation of everyday glitches and when stars are to blame.

Midlife

What to Do When You Hit Life's Low Point

Boris Herzberg on March 29, 2026

Research on the midlife crisis reveals why at ages 40 to 46 you can feel the most unhappy in your life, and how to rebuild your mental state afterward.

Research on the midlife crisis reveals why at ages 40 to 46 you can feel the most unhappy in your life, and how to rebuild your mental state afterward.

Narcissism

How People Adapt to the Narcissists in Their Lives

Boris Herzberg on February 25, 2026

Exploring the concept of "co-narcissism".

Exploring the concept of "co-narcissism".

Therapy

The 8 Unspoken Rules of Therapy

Boris Herzberg on January 21, 2026

Have you found your first therapist? Congrats! Now what? There are some rules for beginning the therapeutic work and ensuring your therapy succeeds from the start.

Have you found your first therapist? Congrats! Now what? There are some rules for beginning the therapeutic work and ensuring your therapy succeeds from the start.

Narcissism

Adaptation Trap: Why Children of Narcissists Lose Themselves

Boris Herzberg on January 12, 2026

Children of narcissists adapt to survive, learning their parents' rules at the cost of their own selves. This is how that loss happens, and how the path to restoration begins.

Children of narcissists adapt to survive, learning their parents' rules at the cost of their own selves. This is how that loss happens, and how the path to restoration begins.

Deception

The Science Behind the Acceptance of Lies

Boris Herzberg on December 23, 2025

The psychology behind our surprising tolerance for deception is that we feel good about some lies, we avoid confrontation, and, in our families, lies were structural.

The psychology behind our surprising tolerance for deception is that we feel good about some lies, we avoid confrontation, and, in our families, lies were structural.

Trauma

'My Parents Treated Me Well, So Why Do I Still Want Therapy?'

Boris Herzberg on December 22, 2025

Parental unresolved trauma can show up as fear or detachment, and it can prevent secure emotional bonds, even without abuse.

Parental unresolved trauma can show up as fear or detachment, and it can prevent secure emotional bonds, even without abuse.

Therapy

How Your Attachment Style Can Influence Therapy

Boris Herzberg on November 24, 2025

Insecure attachment styles can lead to the fear of becoming overattached to therapy. This fear often masks the fear of experiencing closeness.

Insecure attachment styles can lead to the fear of becoming overattached to therapy. This fear often masks the fear of experiencing closeness.

Therapy

2 Reasons Why Couples Therapy Fails

Boris Herzberg on October 28, 2025

Couples therapy often fails because of two common mistakes: addressing overly general questions and rushing the process. Learn why and how to avoid them.

Couples therapy often fails because of two common mistakes: addressing overly general questions and rushing the process. Learn why and how to avoid them.

Relationships

4 Major Mistakes Couples Make When They Argue

Boris Herzberg on October 10, 2025

Learn about the four most common argument mistakes that prevent effective communication in relationships and get practical tips to deal with them.

Learn about the four most common argument mistakes that prevent effective communication in relationships and get practical tips to deal with them.

Relationships

What True Couple Communication Really Means

Boris Herzberg on October 7, 2025

We argue, blame, and scream, and think we've "communicated enough." But true communication is the active, ongoing search for common ground, and many couples avoid it.

We argue, blame, and scream, and think we've "communicated enough." But true communication is the active, ongoing search for common ground, and many couples avoid it.

Narcissism

What Drains the Joy From Relationships With Narcissists?

Boris Herzberg on September 22, 2025

Narcissism can drain joy from relationships. Learn how unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, and jealousy can destroy satisfaction for partners and narcissists alike.

Narcissism can drain joy from relationships. Learn how unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, and jealousy can destroy satisfaction for partners and narcissists alike.

Therapy

How to Avoid Premature Termination of Therapy

Boris Herzberg on September 4, 2025

Knowing when to end therapy is complex. Learn to navigate this crucial decision, avoid premature endings, and ensure your closure is positive and empowering.

Knowing when to end therapy is complex. Learn to navigate this crucial decision, avoid premature endings, and ensure your closure is positive and empowering.

Therapy

When Is the Right Time to End Therapy?

Boris Herzberg on September 3, 2025

Knowing when to end therapy is complex. Learn to navigate this crucial decision, avoid premature endings, and ensure your closure is positive and empowering.

Knowing when to end therapy is complex. Learn to navigate this crucial decision, avoid premature endings, and ensure your closure is positive and empowering.

Artificial Intelligence

Why Isn’t AI Reducing Work Hours?

Boris Herzberg on August 15, 2025

Sci-fi promised that robots would free humans from work. Instead, AI just makes us work faster, because it is suited for competition better than relaxation.

Sci-fi promised that robots would free humans from work. Instead, AI just makes us work faster, because it is suited for competition better than relaxation.

Depression

2 Types of Depression: Shame-Based and Guilt-Based

Boris Herzberg on August 5, 2025

Depression may be guilt-driven (introjective), or shame-based (anaclitic). Explore their roots and differences.

Depression may be guilt-driven (introjective), or shame-based (anaclitic). Explore their roots and differences.

Therapy

Beyond Treatment: How Else Can Therapy Help You?

Boris Herzberg on July 25, 2025

Therapy isn’t just for crisis management or symptom treatment. It can help you uncover buried emotions, build resilience, set comfortable inner pacing, and improve quality of life.

Therapy isn’t just for crisis management or symptom treatment. It can help you uncover buried emotions, build resilience, set comfortable inner pacing, and improve quality of life.

Shame

The Differences Between Guilt and Shame

Boris Herzberg on July 8, 2025

Guilt focuses on actions, while shame attacks your worth. Examining the roots of these emotions and how they are shaped by trauma, depression, and childhood.

Guilt focuses on actions, while shame attacks your worth. Examining the roots of these emotions and how they are shaped by trauma, depression, and childhood.

Relationships

Understanding Our Inner Child in the Struggle for Real Love

Boris Herzberg on June 29, 2025

In relationships, we tend to project childlike fantasies onto partners and then rage when they don't conform with the fairy tale.

In relationships, we tend to project childlike fantasies onto partners and then rage when they don't conform with the fairy tale.