The Psychology of Relationships and Emotional Intelligence

Therapy

What Is Your Therapist Doing During the Session?

Boris Herzberg on March 13, 2025

Anyone can talk to you and nod—do you really need a therapist for that? Here are 15 things I’m doing during a session.

Anyone can talk to you and nod—do you really need a therapist for that? Here are 15 things I’m doing during a session.

Therapy

What to Do if Therapy Isn’t Working

Boris Herzberg on March 12, 2025

If therapy isn't working, look into the therapeutic alliance, openness of discussion, and whether you correctly defined your needs, and measure progress correctly.

If therapy isn't working, look into the therapeutic alliance, openness of discussion, and whether you correctly defined your needs, and measure progress correctly.

Sex

How Couples Can Deal With Sexual Rejection Better

Boris Herzberg on October 24, 2024

Explore the nature of sexual rejection, how to communicate through the emotional pain it causes, and how to address the issue compassionately, not angrily.

Explore the nature of sexual rejection, how to communicate through the emotional pain it causes, and how to address the issue compassionately, not angrily.

Low Sexual Desire

Dealing With a Sexless Relationship

Boris Herzberg on September 9, 2024

Low sexual desire is a common cause of dissatisfaction in sex life. Discover the two types of factors that cause it—external and relationship-based—and how to approach each.

Low sexual desire is a common cause of dissatisfaction in sex life. Discover the two types of factors that cause it—external and relationship-based—and how to approach each.

Grief

Dealing With Emotional Aspects of Being a Replacement Child

Boris Herzberg on July 26, 2024

"Replacement children," born to fill the void of a lost sibling, often struggle. Discover their journey to separate from imposed identities and find their true selves.

"Replacement children," born to fill the void of a lost sibling, often struggle. Discover their journey to separate from imposed identities and find their true selves.

Shame

The Persistence of Traumatic Childhood Shame

Boris Herzberg on July 23, 2024

Shame can be one of the toughest emotions to face. Explore how childhood traumatic shame shapes adult relationships and how reminiscent situations help it retain its hold.

Shame can be one of the toughest emotions to face. Explore how childhood traumatic shame shapes adult relationships and how reminiscent situations help it retain its hold.

Anger

How Emotions Hide From Us and Fool Us

Boris Herzberg on July 9, 2024

Secondary emotions can emerge and act as a defense against our real emotions. Explore the true feelings behind anger, shame, anxiety, and more.

Secondary emotions can emerge and act as a defense against our real emotions. Explore the true feelings behind anger, shame, anxiety, and more.

Narcissism

Parental Envy: The Silent Thief of Joy and Fulfillment

Boris Herzberg on June 15, 2024

Narcissistic parental envy harms children and leads to attachment wounds, unfulfilled ambitions, and a lack of joy in life. What drives parents and how to deal with it?

Narcissistic parental envy harms children and leads to attachment wounds, unfulfilled ambitions, and a lack of joy in life. What drives parents and how to deal with it?

Therapy

6 Common Fears About Starting Therapy

Boris Herzberg on June 6, 2024

Starting therapy can be daunting. Strong feelings, discomfort, and doubt are normal. Here’s what you need to know for a smoother journey.

Starting therapy can be daunting. Strong feelings, discomfort, and doubt are normal. Here’s what you need to know for a smoother journey.

Relationships

Defining Emotional Overdependency in Unhealthy Relationships

Boris Herzberg on May 9, 2024

Exploring emotional helplessness in relationships.

Exploring emotional helplessness in relationships.

Gaslighting

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

Boris Herzberg on April 1, 2024

Discover the insidious signs of gaslighting, such as erosion of respect, violating agreement, and more. Learn how to protect yourself from manipulative behavior in relationships.

Discover the insidious signs of gaslighting, such as erosion of respect, violating agreement, and more. Learn how to protect yourself from manipulative behavior in relationships.

Depression

Not Just Sadness: Decomposing Depression

Boris Herzberg on March 27, 2024

There are non-obvious constituents of depression beyond mere sadness. Indeed, repressed anger can play a role in ongoing depression. Here's how.

There are non-obvious constituents of depression beyond mere sadness. Indeed, repressed anger can play a role in ongoing depression. Here's how.

Relationships

How to Acknowledge Disagreements in an Argument

Boris Herzberg on March 25, 2024

In any relationship, we may disagree with one another. However, before you disagree, it is helpful to acknowledge your partner's argument.

In any relationship, we may disagree with one another. However, before you disagree, it is helpful to acknowledge your partner's argument.

Anger

What It Means When a Partner Screams

Boris Herzberg on February 9, 2024

Understanding screaming in relationships: what's the partner saying, and what secondary emotion is expressed.

Understanding screaming in relationships: what's the partner saying, and what secondary emotion is expressed.

Child Development

12 Parental Prohibitions that Still Limit You in Adult Life

Boris Herzberg on February 1, 2024

There are 12 main parental injunctions that children hear and carry into adult life. Llearn to recognize them to find empowerment in adulthood.

There are 12 main parental injunctions that children hear and carry into adult life. Llearn to recognize them to find empowerment in adulthood.

Anger

4 Tips on Managing Anger in a Relationship

Boris Herzberg on December 29, 2023

Discover the transformative power of anger in relationships through turning it into a dialogue, saying No, turning it into constructive force and addressing its origins together.

Discover the transformative power of anger in relationships through turning it into a dialogue, saying No, turning it into constructive force and addressing its origins together.

Emotional Abuse

5 Signs That You May Be in an Abusive Relationship

Boris Herzberg on December 19, 2023

Explore the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and safeguard your well-being.

Explore the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and safeguard your well-being.

Narcissism

The Complexities of Dating the Children of Narcissists

Boris Herzberg on November 17, 2023

Explore the intricate dynamics of relationships with adults raised by narcissistic parents. Learn how to overcome challenges and build stronger, healthier connections.

Explore the intricate dynamics of relationships with adults raised by narcissistic parents. Learn how to overcome challenges and build stronger, healthier connections.

Therapy

Individual or Couples Therapy: How to Know What You Need?

Boris Herzberg on November 3, 2023

Explore the differences between these two formats and discover which one suits you best.

Explore the differences between these two formats and discover which one suits you best.

Relationships

4 Types of Relationship Silence and the Trouble They Cause

Boris Herzberg on October 29, 2023

Silence, often underestimated, holds tremendous power within relationships. Explore how it conceals conflicts and tensions, and discover how to deal with its complexities.

Silence, often underestimated, holds tremendous power within relationships. Explore how it conceals conflicts and tensions, and discover how to deal with its complexities.