Staying Sane Inside Insanity

Boundaries

Why Your Boundaries Aren't Working

Tonya Lester LCSW on June 9, 2025

You've tried to set clear limits. So why does nothing change? Because boundaries without leverage are just wishful thinking.

You've tried to set clear limits. So why does nothing change? Because boundaries without leverage are just wishful thinking.

Relationships

Being “Difficult” Might Just Save Your Life

Tonya Lester LCSW on May 13, 2025

Tired of being “easy” to be around but hard on yourself? Here’s why being a little “difficult” might be the most freeing thing you ever do.

Tired of being “easy” to be around but hard on yourself? Here’s why being a little “difficult” might be the most freeing thing you ever do.

Relationships

The Cost of Keeping the Peace

Tonya Lester LCSW on May 5, 2025

Women are often taught to prioritize harmony above all else. Here's why they should stop.

Women are often taught to prioritize harmony above all else. Here's why they should stop.

Relationships

Love vs Values

Tonya Lester LCSW on August 17, 2023

Ending a meaningful relationship is painful, but not as painful as giving up an essential part of yourself.

Ending a meaningful relationship is painful, but not as painful as giving up an essential part of yourself.

Relationships

How to Ask for What You Want

Tonya Lester LCSW on April 17, 2023

Relationship patterns don't change until we step up and change them.

Relationship patterns don't change until we step up and change them.

Relationships

Love Hacks

Tonya Lester LCSW on March 3, 2023

How would your relationship change if you tried a few of these suggestions? How would it change if you implemented all of them?

How would your relationship change if you tried a few of these suggestions? How would it change if you implemented all of them?

Relationships

How to Recover From a Breakup

Tonya Lester LCSW on January 11, 2023

Breakups can be devastating even if you see them coming, even if it's your idea, and even if you know it's for the best.

Breakups can be devastating even if you see them coming, even if it's your idea, and even if you know it's for the best.

Infidelity

How to Confess Infidelity

Tonya Lester LCSW on November 4, 2022

When we hear “infidelity,” most of us picture having sex outside of our relationships. But there are many ways to cheat.

When we hear “infidelity,” most of us picture having sex outside of our relationships. But there are many ways to cheat.

Jealousy

The Weathervane Emotions: Anger, Jealousy, and Guilt

Tonya Lester LCSW on September 11, 2022

Complicated emotions are necessary, healthy, and valuable. Like a weathervane, they show us which way the wind is blowing and how we need to adjust accordingly.

Complicated emotions are necessary, healthy, and valuable. Like a weathervane, they show us which way the wind is blowing and how we need to adjust accordingly.

Relationships

How Adult Children Can Set Boundaries With Their Parents

Tonya Lester LCSW on July 6, 2022

Setting boundaries with one's family, especially one's parents, is often considered off-limits. It shouldn't be.

Setting boundaries with one's family, especially one's parents, is often considered off-limits. It shouldn't be.

Relationships

When Love Feels Abusive

Tonya Lester LCSW on June 15, 2022

Here's how to tell the difference between unhealthy attachments, trauma bonds, and love.

Here's how to tell the difference between unhealthy attachments, trauma bonds, and love.

Sleep

You Probably Need More Sleep

Tonya Lester LCSW on May 26, 2022

High-quality, consistent sleep is powerful medicine. Here are 4 steps to better sleep.

High-quality, consistent sleep is powerful medicine. Here are 4 steps to better sleep.

Relationships

When Is It Time to Leave a Relationship?

Tonya Lester LCSW on May 11, 2022

If you've been waiting for years, or even decades, for a partner to behave differently, you may be deluding yourself.

If you've been waiting for years, or even decades, for a partner to behave differently, you may be deluding yourself.

Relationships

You Just Don't Understand!

Tonya Lester LCSW on May 6, 2022

Feeling understood is the bedrock of emotional intimacy. All relationships can withstand a lot of pressure if each person feels that the other is invested in understanding them.

Feeling understood is the bedrock of emotional intimacy. All relationships can withstand a lot of pressure if each person feels that the other is invested in understanding them.

Marriage

Is Marriage a Bad Deal for Women?

Tonya Lester LCSW on April 27, 2022

Healthy partnerships can go through tough times and emerge stronger afterward. Less secure relationships will often buckle under the strain.

Healthy partnerships can go through tough times and emerge stronger afterward. Less secure relationships will often buckle under the strain.

Procrastination

Feeling Confused, Overwhelmed, or Lazy?

Tonya Lester LCSW on February 16, 2022

Are you afraid to take steps to achieve your goals? There are ways to break free from procrastination and inaction.

Are you afraid to take steps to achieve your goals? There are ways to break free from procrastination and inaction.

Leadership

A Personal Perspective on Time Management

Tonya Lester LCSW on January 5, 2022

We prize efficiency over depth, engagement, and enjoyment. When we’re trying to make everything go faster, we’re wishing our life away.

We prize efficiency over depth, engagement, and enjoyment. When we’re trying to make everything go faster, we’re wishing our life away.

Anxiety

Are Your Working Too Hard in Your Relationship?

Tonya Lester LCSW on November 10, 2021

That nervous revving you feel in your stomach isn’t spurring you to greater achievement. It’s distracting you from identifying your true priorities.

That nervous revving you feel in your stomach isn’t spurring you to greater achievement. It’s distracting you from identifying your true priorities.

Narcissism

How to Handle a "Kind" Narcissist

Tonya Lester LCSW on October 22, 2021

If you still often feel like your concerns are never really addressed no matter how often you bring them up, you might be facing a "kind narcissist."

If you still often feel like your concerns are never really addressed no matter how often you bring them up, you might be facing a "kind narcissist."

Relationships

Emotional Maturity in Relationships

Tonya Lester LCSW on October 8, 2021

Are you emotionally mature in your relationships? Here's what that looks like and how you can do better.

Are you emotionally mature in your relationships? Here's what that looks like and how you can do better.