Love as Action

"Love has always been, for me, the greatest thing of all ... or rather, the only thing!" –Stendhal, On Love

Many years ago, I concluded my first book by referencing Massive Attack's song "Teardrop," highlighting the line: "Love is a verb, a doing word." This sentiment resurfaced as I delved into bell hooks' profound work, All About Love: New Visions.

In this insightful treatise, hooks emphasizes that love is not merely a fleeting emotion but a deliberate action. She defines love, borrowing from The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck's, as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." This perspective aligns seamlessly with therapeutic practices, where fostering growth and healing is paramount. Love, as hooks presents it, is not just an emotion like fear, anger, or jealousy, but an attitude that has the power to transform and make life joyous.

Hooks challenges the conventional notion that love is an uncontrollable force or an excuse for harmful behavior. She firmly states, "Love and abuse cannot coexist," underscoring the necessity for therapists to help clients distinguish between genuine affection and harmful actions. This also resonates with Simone de Beauvoir's distinction between authentic and inauthentic love. "Authentic love is founded on the mutual recognition of two freedoms," as she writes in The Second Sex.

Furthermore, hooks elevates love from a personal experience to a societal imperative. She argues that societal structures often distort our understanding of love, leading to misconceptions that can perpetuate harm. This insight is not just crucial, but urgent for psychologists aiming to address systemic issues that affect individual well-being. It underscores the significance of their work in creating a healthier society

A pivotal point in hooks' discourse is the assertion that "there can be no love without justice." This principle resonates deeply within therapeutic settings, where establishing fairness and respect is essential for effective treatment. It also reminds therapists of their crucial role in advocating for social justice to create environments where love and healing can flourish, empowering them to contribute to broader societal transformation.

Incorporating hooks' philosophy into psychological practice encourages a holistic approach to healing. By viewing love as an active commitment to nurturing growth, therapists can guide clients toward healthier relationships with themselves and others. This perspective enriches individual therapy and contributes to broader societal transformation.

All About Love offers valuable insights for psychologists who foster genuine connection and growth in their clients. We can work towards a more compassionate and equitable society by embracing love as a deliberate action intertwined with justice.