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Perfectionism

The psychology of never good enough.

Perfectionism
The Anxiety of Asking for Help

Leon Garber LMHC on March 22, 2025

While asking for and receiving help is a common practice, perfectionists struggle with both, believing that they lead to catastrophic outcomes.

While asking for and receiving help is a common practice, perfectionists struggle with both, believing that they lead to catastrophic outcomes.

Perfectionism
Does Healthy Perfectionism Exist?

Leon Garber LMHC on March 19, 2025

Absolute perfectionism is the belief that we ought to be perfect everywhere, all the time, and to everyone. Doing so is impossible, but a healthier version of perfectionism exists.

Absolute perfectionism is the belief that we ought to be perfect everywhere, all the time, and to everyone. Doing so is impossible, but a healthier version of perfectionism exists.

Perfectionism
Learning How to Live With Shame

Leon Garber LMHC on March 12, 2025

Perfectionism is an unhealthy way of addressing shame, implying the belief that, with enough effort, shame will someday cease.

Perfectionism is an unhealthy way of addressing shame, implying the belief that, with enough effort, shame will someday cease.

Perfectionism
Being in Love With a Perfectionist

Leon Garber LMHC on March 8, 2025

Partners and friends of perfectionists struggle in their relationships with them, for little of what they have to offer seems to matter.

Partners and friends of perfectionists struggle in their relationships with them, for little of what they have to offer seems to matter.

Perfectionism
The Perfectionist's Obsession With Labels

Leon Garber LMHC on March 5, 2025

While many enter treatment to perfect themselves, attempting to fit into desirable labels often has significant undesirable consequences.

While many enter treatment to perfect themselves, attempting to fit into desirable labels often has significant undesirable consequences.

Narcissism
The Quiet Form of Narcissism

Leon Garber LMHC on March 1, 2025

Vulnerable narcissism is less showy and aggressive, yet it entails similar degrees of envy, shame, resentment, and entitlement as its grandiose counterpart.

Vulnerable narcissism is less showy and aggressive, yet it entails similar degrees of envy, shame, resentment, and entitlement as its grandiose counterpart.

Perfectionism
How Defensive Pessimism Complicates Managing Anxiety

Leon Garber LMHC on February 22, 2025

Defensive pessimism may be helpful in small doses, but it may easily contribute to the maintenance of highly skewed and negative thinking that is difficult to challenge.

Defensive pessimism may be helpful in small doses, but it may easily contribute to the maintenance of highly skewed and negative thinking that is difficult to challenge.

Therapy
Is Insight Always Enough to Change?

Leon Garber LMHC on February 16, 2025

While insight is often believed to be a curative factor in psychotherapy, it requires accompanying action to be meaningful; without it, it may be used to stall progress.

While insight is often believed to be a curative factor in psychotherapy, it requires accompanying action to be meaningful; without it, it may be used to stall progress.

Philosophy
A Better Alternative to Defensive Pessimism

Leon Garber LMHC on February 11, 2025

Defensive pessimism is a strategy that is used to deal with fear and is often part of a nihilistic worldview. Existentialism offers a better and more realistic alternative.

Defensive pessimism is a strategy that is used to deal with fear and is often part of a nihilistic worldview. Existentialism offers a better and more realistic alternative.

Fantasies
Maladaptive Daydreaming and the Unattainable

Leon Garber LMHC on February 5, 2025

Maladaptive daydreaming is the preoccupation with a fantasy wherein one attains a contradiction, something that satisfies all of one's incompatible needs.

Maladaptive daydreaming is the preoccupation with a fantasy wherein one attains a contradiction, something that satisfies all of one's incompatible needs.

Therapy
Why I Became a Psychotherapist

Leon Garber LMHC on February 1, 2025

Personal Perspective: Despite telling others that I wanted to become a therapist to learn more about the human mind, at bottom, I wanted to fix myself and those around me.

Personal Perspective: Despite telling others that I wanted to become a therapist to learn more about the human mind, at bottom, I wanted to fix myself and those around me.

Perfectionism
Perfectionism Is a Way to Avoid Feeling

Leon Garber LMHC on January 28, 2025

Perfectionism and the pursuit of more success, while apparently rational, are driven, in part, by an intense fear of one's emotions.

Perfectionism and the pursuit of more success, while apparently rational, are driven, in part, by an intense fear of one's emotions.

Therapy
Psychotherapy Isn't Nonsense

Leon Garber LMHC on January 21, 2025

Psychotherapy, by and large, is based on the biopsychosocial model. Despite these rich underpinnings, it is still at times attacked as unscientific.

Psychotherapy, by and large, is based on the biopsychosocial model. Despite these rich underpinnings, it is still at times attacked as unscientific.

Perfectionism
Are You Terrified of Being Disliked?

Leon Garber LMHC on January 15, 2025

The desire to be liked by everyone precludes genuine connections because those are often based on qualities and revelations that aren't necessarily popular.

The desire to be liked by everyone precludes genuine connections because those are often based on qualities and revelations that aren't necessarily popular.

Perfectionism
Are You Terrified of Feeling Embarrassed?

Leon Garber LMHC on January 13, 2025

In part due to unfair, self-made comparisons, perfectionists tend to exaggerate their flaws and wrongly believe others are highly critical of them.

In part due to unfair, self-made comparisons, perfectionists tend to exaggerate their flaws and wrongly believe others are highly critical of them.

OCD
The Greediness of OCD

Leon Garber LMHC on January 8, 2025

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is characterized, in part, by a quest for certainty, which causes the individual with OCD to forego making important choices.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is characterized, in part, by a quest for certainty, which causes the individual with OCD to forego making important choices.