No Sex Please, We’re Gen Z*

Barely a week goes by without a disparaging headline about Gen Z. This time, the focus is on the assertion that they are having less sex than previous generations did at their age, which is roughly 15 to 29. Curious to know more, I consulted the premier sex research centre, the Kinsey Institute, which has been researching sex, gender, and relationships for 80 years. Their famous mid-century reports shocked society by revealing that premarital sex and homosexuality were far more common than most people assumed. Are their findings about the sex lives of Gen Z shocking too? A bit; but for converse reasons. The Kinsey Institute confirms a "sex recession" among young adults, with the number reportedly not having sex in the past year doubling from 12 percent in 2010 to 24 percent in 2024, and 30 percent of 18–29-year-olds reporting having had no sex at all in the past three months.¹

But why?

Reasons Gen Z Are Not Having Sex

When this theme shows up in my therapy room, the main reasons Gen Z say they’re not having sex are the same reasons that apply to many of the quirks and challenges they are grappling with—money and tech.

Due to financial constraints, young adults are living with their parents for longer. According to the Office for National Statistics, the average age that people leave home has risen to 28.² Some move out for university, but many boomerang back, known as “re-nesting.” Living with mum and dad might be good for Gen Z’s finances, but it’s not so good for their sex lives, with 64 percent of those living at home saying they had no sex in the preceding three months due to lack of privacy.¹

Finances also get in the way of dating, which gets in the way of sex. My Gen Z clients lament the eye-watering cost of a single night out, which, for many, eats up much of their weekly income, even outside of big cities, where the cost is astronomical. In London, for example, the classic “dinner and a movie” date costs upward of £100, and who can afford that? Even a couple of drinks cost about the same as one hour’s national living wage, which in the UK is £10.85–£12.71 depending on age. Gen Z are dating less and going out less in general, because they can’t afford it.

Role of Technology

Another reason they spend less time socialising in person is that they’re doing it online. According to the Institute for Family Studies, the average time Gen Z spend meeting people offline has fallen from around 13 hours a week in 2010 to just over five in 2024.³ Before we start berating screens (again) and pointing the finger at young people for being antisocial (again), I think we should consider “the Covid effect.” Today’s 15- to 29-year-olds were 9 to 23 during the pandemic lockdowns, when social contact was forbidden and socialising online was the only option. For young to mid-term Gen Z’s, this came at a formative time in their social and emotional development, when many of us learn the rules and risks of dating. Through absolutely no fault of their own, many learned to fulfil their friendship, intimacy, and, in some cases, sexual needs through technology. According to the Kinsey Institute, roughly 25 percent of young adults say that social media and artificial intelligence (AI) meet their intimacy needs, while 28 percent say that screen time reduces their motivation to seek in-person sexual connections.¹ Put simply, they’re just not that into it.

But what about the ones who are; why aren’t they having sex? Again, it’s partly due to technology. If smartphone surveillance, digital trackers, and the risk of being photographed or filmed were commonplace in the 1980s and early ‘90s, I’m certain my generation would have been having a lot less sex, too. Hyper visibility and online comparing and despairing have also made contemporary adolescents hypersensitive to rejection. Dating and sex have always carried risks, but pre-Gen Z there was no possibility of bad dates or messy sex being recorded and nonconsensually shared in public domains.

But what if the risk of rejection, heartbreak, and nonconsensual image sharing could be avoided? What if there was an intimate partner who would always be available and interested, always complementary, always validating, always willing to meet your every emotional need? Enter the AI companion. According to one study, 72 percent of Gen Z have interacted with an AI companion, and 49 percent have formed a “meaningful relationship.”⁴ Technology is also on hand (pardon the pun) to meet Gen Z’s sexual needs, with around three-quarters accessing online pornography regularly, 43 percent accessing it weekly, and 19 percent accessing it daily.⁵

So, what if Gen Z are having less sex? I think that rather than pointing fingers of blame or dismissing the “sex recession” as something trivial, we need to consider the facts within broader social and cultural contexts in an effort to understand what modern life is like for young adults. And the only way we can do that is by being comfortable enough and open enough to talk about sex—no matter how much, how often, and in what form it’s showing up.

*The title of this piece is borrowed from a 1973 British comedy, "No Sex Please, We're British."