Happiness
Are Your Choices Feeding Your Soul?
Your life is the sum of your choices. Here's the one question to ask yourself.
Posted June 9, 2025 Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
Key points
- Our daily decisions, from our commute to our conversations, compound to define our overall quality of life.
- Our mental "diet" of media and experiences impacts well-being just as profoundly as the physical food you eat.
- Asking "Is this feeding my soul?" before acting is a simple yet powerful tool for building a more joyful life.
We navigate a constant stream of decisions every single day. From the moment we wake up, we're choosing: what to eat, what to wear, how to spend our time, and who to spend it with. Some of these choices are conscious and deliberate, while others are so ingrained in our routines that we barely notice them. Getting up for work on a Monday morning feels automatic, but it’s still a choice. We could, after all, choose to call in sick or even quit our job.
While some decisions, like which sock to put on first, are trivial, others have a more profound impact on our well-being. How we react to a driver who cuts us off in traffic is a choice. Do we lean on the horn in anger, or do we prioritize our safety and let it go? These seemingly small decisions accumulate, shaping our experiences and ultimately, the quality of our lives. They determine whether we flow with life or constantly find ourselves fighting against it.
The Two Extremes of Choice
Consider two vastly different paths, both paved by daily choices. On one hand, you have an individual who starts their day with a healthy run and a nutritious breakfast. They engage in work they find fulfilling, spend their evenings with supportive friends, and nurture their mind with documentaries and books. They might end their day with meditation, cultivating a sense of peace. Their life is a testament to choices that nourish their well-being.
On the other extreme, imagine someone whose first thought upon waking is how to numb their pain. Their choices for the day are dictated by this desire, potentially leading them down a path of self-destruction and harm to others.
These examples, while on opposite ends of the spectrum, highlight a powerful truth: our daily choices have a cumulative effect, leading us toward a life of vitality or a life of despair.
What Does It Mean to Feed Your Soul?
This brings us to a pivotal question we should ask ourselves with every choice we make: Is this feeding my soul?
But what does it truly mean to "feed your soul"? It’s about choosing what genuinely enriches you, rather than opting for immediate gratification and fleeting pleasures. Drowning a tough week in alcohol might temporarily numb the pain, but does it nourish your soul? It's unlikely.
Now, picture this: spending a quiet morning in a park, surrounded by nature, perhaps with a good book. Taking the time to just be, to soak in the beauty of the world, to allow your mind to quiet. That is feeding your soul.
This question is vital because every decision we make shapes who we are and how we experience the world. It dictates whether we greet the day with gratitude or with a sense of dread, wishing we could retreat back into sleep. The state of our soul today is a direct result of how we chose to nourish it yesterday.
The Soul-Body Connection
Think of feeding your soul in the same way you think about feeding your body. If you nourish your body with fresh, healthy foods like green tea, fruits, salads, and wholesome, home-cooked meals, you'll likely wake up feeling energized and grateful. Your body will thank you.
Conversely, if you fuel yourself with ice cream for breakfast, greasy fried foods for lunch, and a dinner of chips and strong drinks, how will your body feel the next day? Most likely, it will be screaming in pain and discomfort, leading you to seek more of the same to numb the very pain it created.
The same principle applies to what we feed our minds and spirits. We are constantly making choices about the information and experiences we expose ourselves to. On platforms like YouTube, you can find incredibly disturbing content that requires a warning before viewing. Yet, some people choose to consume this content regularly. As a clinical psychologist, I often see the detrimental effects of such choices. When we explore what’s causing their struggles, we often find they are feeding their soul a steady diet of poison.
Many of us don't consciously ask if our choices are good or bad for our souls. We're driven by what seems fun or enjoyable in the moment. But what if we paused and asked, "Will this activity make me feel better, happier, and more content in the long run?"
Resisting the Allure of the Unhealthy
It sounds simple, doesn't it? Just make choices that feed your soul. So why is it so difficult?
Imagine an apple sitting next to the most decadent, rich chocolate cake imaginable. Which would most people choose? The cake, of course. In life, the things that are truly good for our souls often appear less exciting than the thrilling, and often destructive, alternatives. The fleeting excitement of partying, drinking, and drugs can be alluring, especially for the young. But the long-term consequences are often devastating. Indulging in things that are exciting but not soulful almost always comes with a price.
A Simple Question for a Beautiful Life
I have a deep-seated belief in our ability to make intelligent choices that lead to a good life. But to do so, we must consistently ask ourselves one simple question throughout the day: Is what I'm doing right now feeding my soul?
If the answer is no, we have the power to choose a different path. If the answer is yes, we know we are on the right track.
I learned this lesson years ago on a bus trip. The conversation turned to unkind gossip, and I felt a strong internal resistance to participating. I chose to look out the window instead. When pressed for my opinion, I simply stated I hadn't been listening. It was an important moment of clarity for me; I realized that every choice, no matter how small, contributes to the person I am becoming.
By consistently choosing to feed our souls, we cultivate a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment. We wake up each morning eager for the day ahead and go to bed each night with a sense of gratitude. Life can and should be a beautiful, wonderful adventure. And the key to unlocking that adventure lies in this one, profound question.
References
Hunt, M. G., Marx, R., Lipson, C., & Young, J. (2018). No more FOMO: Limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 37(10), 751–768.
This experimental study provides strong evidence that intentionally reducing social media use can directly improve well-being. The findings support the blog's core idea that conscious choices about media consumption have a significant impact on mental health, reducing common negative feelings like loneliness and the "fear of missing out."
Ross, E., Verduyn, P., Sheppes, G., Costello, C. K., Ldire, F., & Gross, J. J. (2021). Social media and well-being: Pitfalls, progress, and next steps. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 25(1), 55–66.
This review article explores the complex relationship between social media use and psychological well-being. It concludes that passive consumption of content is more frequently linked to declines in well-being than active social interaction is, reinforcing the blog's point that how we choose to engage with things matters greatly to our soul's health.
Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482–497.
This foundational paper introduces the self-concordance model, which posits that individuals gain more well-being from pursuing goals that align with their genuine interests and core values. This directly supports the blog's thesis that "feeding your soul" involves making choices that are authentic to who you are, leading to greater happiness and life satisfaction.
