Divided We Date: Love in the Days of the Donald

Whatever else you may think about Trump, it is an incontrovertible fact that his return to the White House is an event of profound implications for life in the United States, many of which are yet to materialize. One area in which Trump’s social impact is vividly felt and documented is the American mating scene.

A new (2025) survey from Daniel Cox and Kelsey Hammond of the Survey Center on American Life, based on Interviews with a random sample of 5,837 adults, reveals that Trump’s re-election factors significantly into young people’s dating decisions.

First, the survey has documented a large divide about Trump between unmarried men and women. Most unmarried men voted for Trump in 2024, compared to 39 percent of unmarried women. In part, the chasm reflects differing interpretations of Trump’s candidacy and presidency. Among single women, Trump tends to evoke fear reactions. “Six in 10 single women believe that women in the US will be worse off under a second Trump presidency. Most single men do not share these same concerns.”

The divide is particularly acute when Harris and Trump voters are compared. Male Trump voters are, as a group, the most enthusiastic about his win; female Harris voters are the most fearful.

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Women’s fears tend to extend from Trump himself to those men who voted for him, a concern that is especially prevalent among college-educated women, a majority of whom report a reluctance to date a Trump supporter.

The report reviews some of the reasons single women gave for rejecting dates with Trump supporters, including a difference in morals. (One participant is quoted as saying: “If you are a Trump supporter, I can only assume you support the rights of only straight white people and traditional values. That does not align with my beliefs.”)

Women also noted how Trump’s derogatory statements about women and his past as a sexual felon add to their negative judgment of his supporters (“Men who support Trump actively support someone who disregards women’s rights, views women as objects, and views violence against women as acceptable. Anyone who votes for or supports Trump believes that these issues are not important.”)

These concerns emerge against a backdrop, colored in part by the MeToo movement, of heightened concerns among single women about sexual violence. The survey found that women are "significantly more likely than men to believe that men would be willing to take advantage of a woman sexually if given the opportunity.” Twenty-seven percent of women endorsed the notion that “all or nearly all men” or “most men” would take advantage of a woman sexually if provided the opportunity. Only 16 percent of men agree.

The report, however, looks at factors that complicate the dating lives of Americans beyond the current political climate, and the findings are quite sobering. One finding is that most Americans consider the dating scene to be more complicated, risky, and unsatisfying than before.

Part of the problem resides in the prevalence of online dating, which is increasingly viewed by those who use it as unsafe and unsatisfying. “In 2024, most Americans (58 percent) believe that dating apps are not too safe or not at all safe.” This is particularly true for single women. Online dating, with its unceasing abundance of potential mates, has also reduced people’s investment in any particular date and their willingness to give a date a second chance.

Another interesting finding is that unmarried Americans worry more about being in the wrong relationship than about not finding one. This trend, again, is more pronounced among females.

Men are much more likely than women to get rejected on online dating. This may lead to bitterness, which appears to be reflected in the finding that “Nearly one in four (24 percent) single men believe that most or all women would leave their partner for someone else who was wealthier and more attractive.” Only 15 percent of single women agree.

The mating scene has changed in other significant ways. One major finding is that young women are questioning the value of marriage altogether, tending increasingly to view the institution as a liability to their quality of life. Most single women surveyed reported that they believed single women are happier than married women. Men (and married women) largely reject this idea. Notably, both sexes agree that single men are not happier than married men. In that, both groups align with the bulk of existing research, which has long documented the abundant benefits of marriage for men.

Moreover, in the past, initial romantic dating experiences occurred during the late teenage years. A large majority (upward of 80 percent) of baby boomers report having had their first romantic experience by their late teen years. Currently, teenage dating is in decline. Roughly one in three Gen Z adults report reaching adulthood without ever having gone on a date. Young Americans, in other words, are far less likely to acquire early dating experiences than in the past.

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Instead, young Americans' first exposure to sex often happens through porn, which has grown far more abundant, varied, and accessible since the advent of portable digital media. Most Americans now report having watched porn, and the age of first exposure has decreased. Forty-one percent of Gen Z adults report having watched porn before the age of 15. The rate of same-age exposure among baby boomers was 5 percent.

The effects of porn on its viewers’ intimate lives and relations are complex, depending in part on how, when, and how much porn is used, and on myriad contextual, personality, gender, and cultural variables. Yet it is not unlikely that when dating is hard, dangerous, and disappointing and porn is available and abundant, some young adults may opt to stick with the latter instead of risk the former.

The authors conclude: “Young singles today are forced to navigate a world where traditional dating norms are being redefined by technology and a rapidly changing culture. Many are not enjoying the experience.”